#normally i would not put the specific post's phrasing on blast but

[jennycalendar]

just gonna go out and outright say it like . play with the slayer/vampire dichotomy all you want that's cool but maybe comparing spike wearing nikki wood's coat to a "berserker wearing animal skins" is not the win that you think it is and is actually horrendously fucking racist and the fact that apparently a whooOoOle bunch of my mutuals just REBLOGGED that is ! okay! still bothering me the next day

[seddm]

Star Vs The Forces of Evil AMA

A list of the most important or interesting things from the AMA on Reddit from yesterday. The questions were answered by Daron Nefcy (show’s creator), Dominic Bisignano and Aaron Hammersley (writers, supervising producers), and Adam McArthur (Marco’s voice actor).

“I'm not sure what Star and Marco's future looks like but I know they are very much in love now.” the most important of quotes. 

When asked if Starco was planned from the beginning Daron simply said “It was planned. We never did anything just because we got pressure from fans” in one answer, and “I did have it planned for some time“ in another one.

Daron wanted for Star and Marco to make mistake and date other people before finally finding each other to grow from those experiences, the “messy” nature of relationships in the show having been on purpose to treat them as real teenagers.

The Severing Stone did break a curse, but the curse was never the reason behind Star and Marco’s feelings. Breaking it simply allowed them to start realizing that their feelings had nothing to do with it (which implies placebo effect as the only actual impact of it in that regard).

Aaron Hammersley thinks that Star liked Marco since the beginning, but feelings started growing after the Blood Moon ball.

Right now there are no plans for more books, comics, or DVD sets, but Daron would like to work again with Star if Disney ever wanted more.

Ever since they got renewed for a 4th season they knew it would have been the last one, and set out to write an ending for it. Daron is very satisfied by the ending they wrote and said this about its open nature:  My goal was to create a satisfying ending that still left room for more. I feel like it’s in the DNA of the universe to solve one problem but create another. That’s Star Butterfly! I know it may not have been satisfying for everyone, but I hope it inspires a lot of fan fiction and drawings. I didn’t want to solve everything and leave the fans nothing to play with! Plus, if I ever got to do more with Star I want something to play with.

Toffee was a historian and researched the Butterfly family and their magic like no one before. The skull pauldrons in Moon the Undaunted were from family members of the royal court he killed (so the cheekmarks were just intimidation / “rule of cool”).  

Meteora’s rebirth was all Eclipsa’s doing, but she didn’t know if the spell would have worked or not, that’s why she was initially in tears.

Seth has been dead for a long time, and he was put in the book just to have some supplemental elements for the show’s world, without ever having intentions to use him in the series.

Tom still has his fire-travelling powers, since they’re inherent to being a demon.

Ponyheads evolved out of their bodies thousands of years ago. Princess Pony Head’s mother is dead (not as a result of magic being gone, she was already dead).

Ludo stole the tadpoles from an orphanage.

Omnitraxius was just a “middleman to accessing the Multiverse”, so his death doesn’t affect the structure of alternate realities.

According to Daron Starfan13′s real name is Amanda Jacobs, according to Adam it’s Deborah Perla.

The hardest episodes to write are those where they need to get to a specific plot point, and they need a story to introduce it in a natural feeling way.

Earth and Mewni are the only dimensions that got cleaved together. 

Doop-Doop is gone, but the laser puppies are regular puppies now.

Daron sees the Blood Moon magic as both a curse and a blessing, but didn’t provide any further explanation for Eclipsa’s father’s portrait talking to Marco beyond “magic”.

Warnicorns are unicorns who feed on the blood of their enemies.

Among the episodes that didn’t end up becoming a thing Daron mentioned one about Skullnick dating a monster, and one about Rafael’s job (he’s an artist).

Daron confirmed that the first Mewman settlers were indeed humans who fell through the Magic Well in Echo Creek.

They tried writing an episode about Monster Arm’s return several times, but they could never make it work. Daron believes that it might still be inside Marco, and might come back one day (doesn’t really make any sense given magic’s destruction but hey who am I to question The Daron). According to Adam it makes his immune system stronger.

Daron wouldn’t want to do a crossover episode.

Toffee genuinely believed he had won until, and I quote, “he got his face blasted”. So he didn’t really know how all turns out. But they still wanted to end the show with magic’s destruction as a way to pay him homage. So he wasn’t right all along, but he also was.

Star and Ludo are totally going to play basketball together, eventually.

Between The Cure and The Smiths Marco would absolutely like the latter more, according to Daron; according to Bisignano he’d like the Bauhaus.

Dominic Bisignano (writer, supervising producer, storyboarder, director) would have liked for the show to have more slow paced episodes, with less jokes and less self contained story lines, to better explore the characters. 

Erik did turn back to normal with magic’s destruction, but he has “the painful memory of having been a squirreltoad”.

The Realm of Magic is very sensitive and people aren’t supposed to be there, that’s why Moon washing her “wounds” in it was enough to throw everything off balance.

Star on Wheels was inspired by Daron falling in a lake as a kid as a result of not being able to brake on her bike; Lake House Fever by Hammersley’s experience of being snowed in a cabin with his wife (then girlfriend) and her parents.

Marco’s cheekmarks were just due to his exposure to magic, and weren’t connected to the Blood Moon.

Star would love Pringles, but they do upset her stomach.

Easter egg in Cheer Up Star: in Rafael’s shack a painting by Van Gogh that has been stolen and never found again can be seen on a shelf. So he either drew a replica, or he’s the one who stole it.

ANSWERS BY ADAM

(I’m making a separate section for these because it’s harder to tell whether what he says is canon or not, since Adam wasn’t involved with the show’s writing)

Nachos is still with Marco.

Marco still has his Princess Turdina outfit.

Father Time is still fine, since he wasn’t a magical creature (obviously, or the Universe would be kinda done...).

When asked about what he imagines Marco doing after the finale, he answered “hopefully supporting Star in whatever she's doing, as well as still using those butt-kicking skills he developed in the Neverzone!”.

Ludo got his goons by bullying them into submission.

Just gonna post a screen for this answer about Brunzetta because it seems a bit “wishy washy” and phrasing is important to convey that.

Adam thinks that Marco might have worked with Janna, if he hadn’t gotten together with Star.

Gustav was measuring the Diazes in their sleep (in The Other Exchange Student) to make them custom alpaca wool sweaters.

According to Adam Dave (Tom’s father) was just a regular Mewman who worked as a barista at the coffee shop Lady Lucitor frequented. She tipped well and he fell in love.

Toffee called Marco a disappointment in Storm the Castle because he thought he’d have been more of an adversary.

[thehighestmountains]

evermore review and ranking:

overall, i found this album to have more skippable songs than folklore and the middle of my ranking definitely feels like the middle whereas in my folklore ranking, #14 was still a fav. folklore was a true anomaly where i was just adding the whole album to my playlist. evermore really feels like folklore’s little sister getting the hand-me-downs, who just doesnt know who she is or what shes doing with her life, what is the theme exactly. 

tis the damn season. i fell in love in the first five seconds. i love the moody mature guitar strums and drum beats amping up the entire song. the story of coming back to an old love in your hometown reminds me of the show ‘the normal people’. im a real sucker for sagas, timeless loves that pull you in time and time again, familiar feelings that just feel right because you experienced them at such a young age.  this song gets me.

There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me But if it's all the same to you It's the same to me

So we could call it even You could call me "babe" for the weekend ​'Tis the damn season, write this down

Sleep in half the day just for old times' sake I won't ask you to wait if you don't ask me to stay So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends

long story short. this is such a banger r u joking. i feel every single one of my blood cells pumping as soon as this song starts. i even love the post-chorus, a great break from the chorus and the verses. i could post the whole song as my favorite lines.

And you passed right by I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides The knife cuts both ways If the shoe fits, walk in it 'til your high heels breakAnd I fell from the pedestal Right down the rabbit hole Long story short, it was a bad time When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

ivy. hard not to compare this to illicit affairs, but this is like an upbeat version. if i didnt even pay attention to the lyrics, i would think this is so fun and catchy, it sounds good. there is no anger, there is a joy. and i just like it.

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you So yeah, it's a fire It's a goddamn blaze in the dark And you started it

willow. im really glad this was the leading single because this is a beautiful stringy piece with a great melody. when i was reading the lyrics before listening to the song, it sounded extremely cheesy with “thats my man”, “i come back stronger than a 90s trend”, but in the song, i love it. theres a lot of heart and oompf to this.

And if it was an open-shut case I never would've known from that look on your face Lost in your current like a priceless wine

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow

coney island. i wonder why she picked coney island, a very summery location with the bright lines and merry go, when the whole album is supposed to be a winterscape. i barely understand what this song is about but i enjoy the sounds.

Did I close my fist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?

evermore. i love when justin vernon starts singing with that beautiful falsetto “cant not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost”.

Or the violence of the dog days I'm on waves, out being tossed

champagne problems. before i get into this, i like this song, im impressed with the bridge and the chorus, i enjoy the story. just a small thing: title phrase. i just dont vibe with it, the rest of the lyrics couldve been more connected with champagne, i dont believe champagne to be any alcoholic’s choice of drink. and one more nitpick, who likes that random piano mash at the end, anyone?

Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it

One for the money, two for the show I never was ready so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

tolerate it - this is a good mellow song, i can relate to the deep sadness of feeling ignored, every thing you do is just dropped. i feel this could grow on me, especially because at the end we really get that jolt of energy, i can leave, i can do it.

I wait by the door like I'm just a kid Use my best colors for your portrait

gold rush. this song is a little too sweet for me, specifically “i dont need a gold rush gold rush”. its just an upbeat and repetitive pop song. i also find this specific high school energy of really wanting someone but also despising their appeal to just not relate to the headspace im currently in.

no body no crime. whoooa that blast of country. it kind of feels weird in this album. i think the chorus is incredibly boring, “i think he did it but i just cant prove it” over and over.

No, no body, no crime But I ain't lettin' up until the day I die

closure. i cant get over the constant banging of industrial pots and pans throughout this whole song lol. i really went back and forth between do i like this, no i hate it, ok i could get used to it, no no it doesnt fit with the lyrics and how shes singing. i also dont care for “yes i got your letter, yes im doing better”.

we have a large pile of songs at the bottom, they all mush together in a sad corner. these could maybe grow on me but i also would be fine never listening to them again. with folklore’s sad songs, like epiphany or my tears ricochet, there was still something that appealed to me. most of these, there just isnt anything.

happiness - similar to tolerate it, i think the lyrics carry and convey a specific feeling very well, i have definitely felt this way, but i dont feel like the instrumentals match her emotional singing. i think she really carries this song and the instruments just let me down.

No one teaches you what to do  When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

marjorie - i feel like a song about her grandmother could have been so great instead we get “what died didnt stay dead” over and over and a bridge that is mostly about herself. “shouldve kept every grocery store receipt cause every scrap of you would be taken from me” is the worst of the lines, thats what you want to keep? grocery receipts? the song should be about her grandmother leaving all her “backlogged dreams” to her, and im not getting much of that.

cowboy like me - takes one... to... know... one...... this song does not embody  the type of cowboy shes talking about, perhaps a 80 year old woman singing about her tendencies to run away. im not convinced taylor is singing from a place she understands enough about. my least favorite line in the album goes to “the tennis court was covered up with some tent-like thing”. tent like thing? lol ok. although i will say one of my favorite lines is “forever is the sweetest con”, but that gem cannot save this song.

dorothea - this is the worst version of seven from folklore. its about ten times less interesting, very bare bones, hardly any story or background information. i dont particularly like the name dorothea. giving me major grandma vibes, these last three songs are major grandma vibes. 

[afreakingdork]

So this isn’t really a review as it is more a rant. I had a reaction last year that was very dangerous and it has taken me a long time to recover. When I am not feeling good I love turning to cartoons because they represent low stress and easy on the mind entertainment when everything else seems out of control. I cut the cord with cable years ago and I only have Hulu and Netflix to turn to for entertainment. I am a huge buff when it comes to cartoons in general and I even ran a club back in my college days dedicated to teaching others about the joy of cartoons, but recently I took on watching Twelve Forever on Netflix, a show that if you remember was posted as a short back in 2016 for Cartoon Network to pilot test new shows (a practice they have been doing for a hot minute now). Now I am going to put a majority of my rant under the cut just in case people don’t want to look at the text but I will simplify my point here (feel free to stop reading if you disagree). I don’t like the message that this show portrays about vices and growing up...

Now I have done the basic research and I understand the creator’s past issues with alcohol. Now because of that fact I would assume this was a direct correlation in a show about escaping the real world, but instead we are left with 25 episodes where Reggie doesn’t really learn anything. Reggie is a selfish character and an outcast. I totally get it, I was a wild child myself and I couldn’t care less if I had friends or didn’t. One time my mom tried to punish me by taking everything out of my room, but my imagination was so strong that I was having a blast playing with literally nothing. I see myself in Reggie in so many ways, but there are many ways I don’t. She is incredibly selfish as Todd kindly points out. She is so selfish that it manifests in the show via the fact that Ester is constantly trying to put some meaning into Endless. It takes all the way until the end of the series to even find out how Reggie made a way for herself to enter even though Ester has been asking those questions all along. Reggie constantly just brushes any comments about Endless away with an ‘I don’t care’ or ‘It’s more fun to accept Endless the way it is,’ which is awful considering how dangerous Endless actually is. 

A big departure from the short is the added gross-out humor that wasn’t necessarily as prevalent in those first 8 minutes. I was jarred in that first episode when they started to lean heavily on creepy or downright gross comedy as I wasn’t expecting anything like that from this supposed fun and magical world. Instead we have an entire episode where our trio plans to spend all of spring break on Endless only to have Reggie removed from the equation due to appendicitis. Ester and Todd LITERALLY lose their minds due to their prolonged stay on Endless and when Reggie can finally make her appearance to save them, she has to physically force them out. They regain their memories and are visibly scared by what has happened to them, while Reggie is just mad that they ‘ignored her’ when they were clearly under some sort of spell. She doesn’t care about their well-being and instead chooses to go back into Endless alone because she missed her time there and her friends are just disrespecting her. The episode ends with Reggie lamenting that her fictional friends are her real friends. This ominous ending is just that and this idea never really comes to fruition further. 

This idea is expanded on further when we meet Elmer who is a child that was orphaned and decided to move his life into Endless permanently. We are shown that he has not only lost his mind, but his humanity. While Todd and Ester are scared by this proposition, Reggie is instead spurned on. She still wants to live her life on Endless and believes she is stronger than Elmer in that she won’t succumb to the same fate. I see how this can be a definite parallel to addiction, but with 25 episodes the story that is told doesn’t even get close to showing how this mentality is a bad thing. Are the writers just assuming they are going to get another season? More story progress was had in the 10 episode arc that was Over the Garden Wall than this and I find that totally appalling. One of the main reasons I stopped watching Teen Titans Go! was because the episodes started to become moral-less.Let me clarify that I don’t expect kids cartoons to have morals! I mean I watched Adventure Time and I can totally get down on a whole episode that amounts to nothing but a fart joke. The issue i have is when you set yourself up for something real, something that can impact that life of a child, that you are doing a disservice to a very impressionable target demographic. I am worried about the kids that will watch Twelve Forever and think that this type of escapist attitude is alright in the world. This is why ensemble casts are so important in cartoons. It’s healthy to surround yourself with other people. Not caring about others isn’t cool just because you want to be weird and quirky. There are other weird and quirky people out there that will love and support you. You shouldn’t just be the way you are so boldly that it alienates you from everyone else. I’m not saying to not be yourself. You should always be yourself boldly, but human beings are inherently apart of society and it’s healthy for them to interact. 

Now this idea leads into a larger concept about the infantilization of millennials and I am a millennial that is well into their 20s who loves watching cartoons. I know that this idea of nostalgia is ruling media right now and I am happily apart of it.  To people who tell me I am too old to watch cartoons I of course say they are being ridiculous and cartoons have always been created for kids with the parents who have to ‘suffer’ through them in mind. Parents are always in the background of creators thoughts because they will always been inadvertently watching the cartoons also, but this message of  infantilization in Twelve Forever scares me. I am scared for Reggie that she will never grow up and will be lost to Endless forever because she was never encouraged to grow emotionally for the sake of her friends. The whole reason she made it into Endless was as an escape because she can’t deal with her emotions and no one is trying to help her. This brings me to the characterization of parents in Twelve Forever. I find the parents in the show to be downright horrifying. 

Reggie’s mom, Judy, genuinely thought it was a good idea to give her daughter a bra on her 12th birthday full well knowing that one of her party guests was going to be a boy. Just typing out that sentence I can feel the second hand embarrassment. Judy believes she is doing the right thing by shoving make-up at her daughter because that is what she liked at that age. It doesn’t matter to her that Reggie is an obvious ‘tomboy’ who even asked for a specific new action figure for her birthday. She can only see her daughter through her own eyes and does nothing to try to get closer or understand her on any emotional level. Now you can of course say that she is working as a nurse and those are undeniably grueling hours, but Reggie is straight up honest with her mom and her mom blatantly ignores this. Judy even has a friend, Kathy, in the show who is an archetype for a less than feminine woman. She takes no cues from Kathy when it comes to raising her own less than feminine daughter and instead just exasperatedly can’t understand why Reggie is the way she is. Now I was a ‘tomboy’ (it’s in quotes because I don’t care for the phrase, gender roles are bullshit) who grew up after my mother refused to even dress me in girls clothes. My mom was so frustrated with unhealthy depictions of women that I wasn’t allowed to have Barbies and I didn't mind this, I could crash my Hot Wheels all day and make a parade float out of Beanie Babies without a care, but when it later came to choosing my own clothes my mother never intercepted. It was always my choice, because expression is important, but Judy can barely meet Reggie halfway in the episode where they go to the mall to pick out an outfit for Reggie to wear to a wedding. She ends up forcing Reggie into an uncomfortable and ill-fitting purple dress and tries to make up for her actions by letting Reggie pick out equally ill-fitting big ole’ red boots. I don’t find this to be compromise, this is nothing but simple placation. Judy knows what she did was wrong, but she refuses to see any other way to move forward on the matter and the show thinks that this is a heartfelt way to wrap things up to which I wholeheartedly disagree.  

Another failed parental image that scares me is Todd’s dad. This is a man we see only once and can only imagine through Todd’s eyes. This is a man that is in the midst of some mid-life crisis and has somehow gotten custody of his kids in a divorce. He has a new wife(girlfriend?) who he pours so much money into making her happy by taking her out constantly and doing what she suggests (dying his hair) that he can barely pay his bills and is shown to be repeatedly selling off Todd’s objects to make ends meet. Todd even tried to hide a coin collection only to have it inadvertently found by his little sisters, who are wild due to lack of parenting, and then sold immediately by his dad for cash. This unhealthy situation is of course what leads Reggie to showing Todd Endless, but the show again puts no effort into illustrating that this is a horrible situation for Todd. Instead it is just his circumstance to give some semblance of meaning to the fact that he wants to escape reality. This paired with everything else is exactly the reason why Twelve Forever scares me so much. It depicts these incredibly unhealthy and downright dangerous situations as simply existences that people have to suffer through. If I were a kid that had watched that, I would just thought that was normal and not something that is inherently wrong with our society that should not be perpetuated or fixed! This is not representation, this is normalization. 

P.S. But hey, Reggie has a crush on a girl so we should support lgbtqia+ media? Well here’s my little piece of that. I love my little lesbeans. If you’ve read any of my reviews you know it’s something I crave, but Reggie is so misplaced in her emotional development that just coming to terms with the fact that she may have done something embarrassing in front of her crush is enough for her. She then shuns Conelly (and the options of gaining friends in the real world who like the same quirky stuff as she does), so that she can once again return to Endless. It’s less satisfying then yuri for the sake of perv pandering in my opinion. 

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Geddon #4 Thoughts

Oh dear how quickly we can fall.

So the good news is Molina is back on art and Barberi’s art complimenting his work makes for a mostly smooth transition between the two.

Other good news, we FINALLY take advantage of getting to see these Spider-Heroes interact. We see PS4 Spidey react to seeing an advanced Miles Morales and to seeing versions of himself and MJ married, not to mention learning other Peters ask RYV Pete and MJ how they wound up together. We also get to have a Peter Parker react to the presence of a Norman Osborn.

It is simply put the best scene of the entire comic and maybe the event over all, definitely the main book.

Yes indeed it sure was a great...page.

One page. Out of five issues. The penultimate one in fact.

Sigh...other good stuff...

·         Getting to see other people react with justifiable suspicion against Norman.

·         Norman being a sneaky bastard.

·         One or two funny lines, the crown jewel of which is Ben Reilly saying he’s never met a Norman Osborn who didn’t want to stab him in the back. Because of course...this is exactly what Norman did at the end of the Clone Saga

·         Seeing and acknowledging Spider-Cop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

·         Dinosaur Spider-Man exists!

·         Dissing the Other as a Deus Ex Machina.

Now that last one is a contestable point because I dunno for sure if the Other would be regarded as a dues ex machina.

And part of that is that it depends upon whether we are referring to it in the context of Spider-Verse alone or it’s initial story.

To me it didn’t just show up at the end of Spider-Verse and kill Solus therefore it doesn’t meet the requirement, and it was already established the Other has the ability to wipe out Inheritors way back in the original Other storyline. But was that a dues ex machina unto itself? You tell me.

What’s interesting is if that line came from Slott or Gage, I’d suspect the latter at which point gloriously it’d be Gage throwing shade at Slott.

Now he should still be wary of what he throws around because when you look at this issue he lives in a glass house. A smaller glass house than Slott perhaps but a glass house nevertheless.

Now some of these my problems might be born of ignorance because I haven’t read or can’t remember every single Spider-Man/Marvel comic.

But...for just one problem among many with the issue...you telling me Norman Osborn fucking with the Web of Life and Destiny means that there is 0 ways to travel between dimensions?

Like...even Doctor Strange or Reed Richards can’t help you (and the Spiders can tell even though they’ve not even left the room)?????????

Regarding Ben Reilly he’s seemingly willing to kill. Now of course Clone Saga era Ben Reilly really wasn’t. Or at least his attitude was the same as Peter’s was on the topic. I dunno what happened between Clone Conspiracy and this comic so set me straight but it seems like he’s back to normal now and as such...wouldn’t his attitude be the same as back in the 1990s? Now last time I covered this series I mentioned how it doesn’t make sense for the Spiders to not kill the Inheritors so on one level this does make sense, but it’s nevertheless internally inconsistent because Peter and the other softer heroes aren’t willing to do that. So what’s Ben’s deal.

Again that’s all debatable as a criticism because I don’t have all the info.

But there are plenty of other problems the biggest being the thing at the heart of this whole event, poor timing.

I spoke before about the headfuck that was the tie-ins happening during or after issue #2 despite being released earlier and placed earlier in the reading list.

The same thing happens again because if you, like me, were reading Spider-Force guess what a massive plot point from that gets spoiled as Jessica Drew makes it back to Earth 616 with Solus’ crystal...and runs right into the Inheritors. Nice to know however the final issue plays out their overall mission was a total and utter failure. At least with Scarlet Spiders back in Spider-Verse it served a purpose.

There is another headfuck moment of dumb in that scene too as the Inheritors try and fail to feed off of Jessica Drew, failing because she’s radioactive.

Now she’s wearing her radiation suit and, if you’ve been reading Spider-Force (it helps because this issue barely tries to explain) you’ll know she’s just got back from a radioactive Earth. So one would think the Inheritors’ inability to feed off of her is due to her recent trip there right?

Wrong, it’s because her powers are connected to radiation apparently.

Now I’m no Jessica Drew expert so I consulted the marvel.wiki and am taking their word as gospel for the sake of this post. It reads as follows:

“When Jessica Drew was about a year old, her parents moved from England to a small cottage in the outskirts of Wundagore Mountainin Transia. Her father, Jonathan Drew, geneticist and research partner to the man who would later become the High Evolutionary, found large amounts of uranium in their property, which gave them the financial resources to build a research facility to keep working on their controversial studies of evolution, genetics and cell regeneration

In the course of the next three years, life was good, until little Jessica became ill, poisoned by her long-time exposure to the Uranium that was so prevalent in their land. Jonathan, being an expert on the regenerative and immunological properties of arachnids' blood, injected Jessica with an untested serum made with the blood of several uncommon species of spiders, in the hopes of stopping the tissue damage and immunizing the girl from the Uranium radiation in her blood. Then, he sealed her in a genetic accelerator created by Herbert Wyndham a.k.a. the High Evolutionary to speed the process, but it only seemed to work at a very slow rate. In stasis for decades, her aging greatly slowed, until the treatments finally finished in recent years.”

 Can you spot any words or phrases in that remotely similar to ‘radiation blast’ as used in this issue? Let me know if you can because I can’t.

It’s not even like the radiation played a factor in actually granting her powers according to this. Whilst Spider-Man got his powers from a radioactive spider, for Spider Woman radiation was the disease the spider science was curing. The untested serum her Dad gave her is what gave her powers, the radiation had nothing to do with that. Basically unlike Peter, Jessica’s powers are not derived at all from radiation itself.

So yeah...Gage seems to have seriously contradicted Jessica Drew’s you know...origin story...

That would be bad enough but it gets worse.

For the sake of argument let us pretend that Gage’s ‘revised origin’ for Jessica was true. The implication of the comic is then that because of that the Inheritors can’t feed off of her life essence because radiation is poison to their kind.

Now let’s ignore for the moment that they somehow lived off of giant radioactive spiders for at least over a year, and how radiation is poisonous to most things so phrasing it that way is rather redundant (it’s like saying ‘Oh wait you are vulnerable to fire aren’t you!’). Instead let’s focus on this headscratcher. Jessica’s powers coming from radiation makes her inedible to the Inheritors...buuuuuuut...Peter Parker isn’t...nor are any of the other people who got powers from radioactive spider bites...

*head desk*

Were the editors drunk when they failed to catch that obvious inconsistency?

I mean Spider-Man literally has radioactive blood! That’s a line in the 1960s theme song!

How do you screw this up so badly?

It’s especially incompetent when the fact Jessica just walked out of a radioactive planet and is wearing a radiation suit could easily be used as an alternative explanation. Say she is at the moment contaminated with radiation but is herself not adversely affected by it thanks to her powers. This would actually be more in line with the original Morlun story because Morlun could feed off Spider-Man no problem up until he injected himself with radiation and became temporarily radioactive. So okay they can feed on the life force of totems with low levels of radiation in their blood but not when they are seriously cranking up the dial on a Geiger counter.

There are other inconsistencies though, albeit not as idiotic as that one.

The comic can’t quite decide whether or not Solus got killed last time because he battled the Other or if any sufficiently powerful sharp object could kill him. Doc Ock brings up Leopardon then Miles dismisses that option because Solus beat Leopardon in Spider-Verse an event Doc Ock knows about. So Doc Ock, who states he knows the wisdom of avoiding past mistakes, is suggesting they try the same thing that failed before a second time.

Now of course Otto is not mentally stable, oh no wait maybe he is because Gage paints him as in the right so often (and implies being in a new body fixed his insanity in a way later comic but that’s neither here nor there). It just doesn’t make sense on his part, nor does his dismissal of the Other as superstitious mumbo jumbo.

Ignoring how anyone in the Marvel Universe disregarding magic is fundamentally stupid, Doc Ock is fighting other dimensional totem vampires wrapped up with a cosmic web that enables travel between universes and is connected to a form of danger precognition for everyone associated with a spider.

Why the fuck would the idea of a specific cosmic entity who’s specifically able to kill Solus superstition from his POV, especially when he knows for a fact it did what an obviously more powerful giant robot couldn’t do?

Another minor inconsistency is the Otto implying on one page that he  brought the Spiders to Earth-13 in order to analyze the Enigma Force and then locate it in Earth 616...but then on literally the next page Miles claims it was his idea.

Which is it? It’s somewhat important as it defines the power dynamics between the two would be leaders.

Speaking of the Enigma Force that’s another big problem.

In Spider-Verse the Enigma Force was essentially useless against the Solus because it’s pure life force and he feeds off of that. Ridiculously overpowered, overselling of the villain to cheaply build him up?

Most definitely.

But as a sequel to that story shouldn’t Spider-Geddon try to be consistent? Because suddenly we’re claiming that Solus didn’t actually eat the Enigma Force but simply...killed Captain Universe Spidey (????????????????) and the Enigma Force is still on Earth-13. And as mentioned above the plan is for them to analyse it on Earth-13 and hopefully then use that to track down the 616 Enigma Force.

My question upon hearing that plan was....so?

So they find the Enigma Force and/or the new Captain Universe. Then they either have someone bond with it or ask the new Cap for help.

And...what?

Then go punch the Inheritors?

They already know Captain Universe is a massive food source for the Inheritors. Yeah sure, in Spider-Verse Solus claims it’d be too much for any of his kids to handle but surely between all of them they could eat him?

Then again both Spider-Verse and Spider-Geddon have been hugely inconsistent with how the Inheritors feed. Not only did we get Verna draining any given person’s life force in Spider-Force #2 but I double checked the original Morlun story. He states clearly feasting off of Spider-Man alone would sustain him for about 100 years.

But between Spider-Verse and this story the Inheritors have all chowed down enough for like a millennia a piece then.*

Oy vey, yet another inconsistency I just realized from the previous issue is...weren’t they going to blow up the New U labs? SP/dr was ready to remotely detonate the charges and kill everyone in the process but then Leopardon intervened allowing everyone to escape...couldn’t they detonate the charges remote at that point? There is no reason the New U labs should still be standing.

One final inconsistency I’ll bring up is that Spider-Man PS4 claims that Miles is a good leader because he’s not lost anyone yet. I guess screw Spidey UK and Noir, but in fairness you could argue Miles wasn’t in charge at that point so they don’t count. What is more confusing is that on the very next page Osborn complains that the Inheritors numbers are growing as theirs are shrinking. Again which is it, are the Spiders losing or maintaining their numbers?????

Let’s move on from inconsistencies to a different variety of bad and dumb shit.

First of all Otto and Ben Reilly apparently hatched this whole other plan behind everyone’s backs making a bargain with the Inheritors.

When?

When could that possibly have happened?

I’m not even saying it’s not possible but it’s never explained it comes totally out of nowhere.

Otto didn’t even know Ben was around until last issue when he mounted his raid on New U and surprise attacked the Inheritors so if this plan was set n motion before that how and when could Ben have been integrated into it?????

Before issue #3 is actually the only time I can think of when Otto could’ve done this but it makes just so little sense. He didn’t know the Inheritors were having trouble with the New U tech (again, that seems unlikely given the tech Jennix was used to working with) before issue #3 to my recollection. So there was no reason for him to offer to help him understand that tech (and yes it’s clear Otto made the offer, the Inheritors didn’t make the first offer to him) and the Inheritors clearly attacked him and his group in issue #3. Meaning the offer must’ve been made during issue #3, between issues #3-4 or during issue #4 but there wouldn’t have been any time or any chance for Otto to get away and talk to the Inheritors.

I also don’t get what Ben Reilly has to do with any of this.

Finally, and most insultingly, is Gage continuing to wank off Otto.

Now even Miles is holding his hands up and saying Otto is superior, Otto is the smartest, Otto is the leader. On the one hand this slightly helps balance out Miles being framed as a better leader than Peter was in Spider-Verse (more Slott’s fault for Peter’s shitty characetrization) and no one else considered for leadership (like RYV Peter). On the other wasn’t this event supposed to serve Miles? Wasn’t it promoted somewhat like that?

Why are both this story and it’s predecessor so intent upon making Otto writer’s pet?

One final thing which is I guess more a problem for me is that this issue blew the promise last issue made regarding Norman.

It had the opportunity for some intrigue and Machiavellian shenanigans with Norman Osborn forming a secret third faction within the Spider Army. But then it amounted to him and Spiders-Man being kicked out of the group and wrecking the Web of Life & Destiny. When you consider how he was utterly not built up in the main book at all until the end of the last issue. Like he comes out of nowhere unless you read his debut but nothing conveyed to us that that was a must-read issue to get the main book.

Yeah so overall we crash back hard into the low quality of the prior issues of this series.

Oh well...just one more comic to go...of the main book. Still got another Spec issue, Spdier-Force issue, Ghost Spider issue and 2 Spider-Girls issues to go...sigh...

*Also pretty sure at one point in either story they ate Spider-Hulk. If Jessica Drew is inedible due to radiation how is Spider-Hulk edible?

[themurphyzone]

Meta: The Evolution of Heinz and Norm’s Relationship

Any relationship with Heinz is bound to be an interesting one. This post will focus on Norm specifically. AU episodes will not be taken into account. 

Norm first debuted in Greece Lightning. While he wasn’t much more than another invention in this episode, later episodes developed him from minion to son. 

“What did [Perry] do to you? Did the bad little platypus switch you off?” 

Funnily enough, Heinz does express concern for Norm at the end of this episode when Perry switches him off. It’s notable that Norm isn’t destroyed here, and Heinz doesn’t usually express this level of horror towards his other inventions failing. 

Heinz likely did see him as more than another invention early on, but constantly denied it to anyone who implied it. 

Hail Doofania is the first episode where Norm takes on the role as Heinz’s assistant in evil schemes. He’s developed enough sentience to start talking in sentences that aren’t stock sitcom phrases. 

Like most assistants to villains, Norm is unappreciated and berated constantly. 

Sure, Heinz wanted to play hide and seek so he didn’t have to see Norm, but it sure means a lot to this big guy even if he can’t play well. 

“Well, next time you can do all the cooking and I’ll stand around coming up with evil plans that ultimately fail.” 

Norm’s infamous roast. Had to include it. 

“Would it kill you to say please once in a while?” 

The above two lines show that while Norm does love his dad, he isn’t afraid to draw attention to his flaws either. Heinz doesn’t express gratitude for Norm cooking all that potato salad, nor does he say please when being transported to LOVEMUFFIN’s event. 

Since Norm acts and thinks like a human, it would only be right to give him the same level of respect as a human rather than operating under a master/robo-assistant dynamic. 

Undercover Carl shows that Heinz does occasionally humor Norm from time to time with him building the popsicle stick bride. 

Sometimes a parent takes us to a zoo, or they teach us how to cook. We hang onto those memories as proof that they love us, though sometimes they make us feel terrible too without realizing it. 

Heinz has his ups and downs as well. Sometimes he’s appreciative, other times he’ll complain without letting up or not display any tactfulness. When the latter happens, people and platypi get hurt emotionally.  

“I know I didn’t make you that smart, but you can’t even walk straight?” 

Personally I think Heinz has the right to be angry that scalding coffee was dumped on him, but he definitely could’ve scolded Norm more gently. 

Heinz decides to replace Norm without asking how he felt about it. Here Norm is just another appliance that can be replaced when broken. 

Heinz’s main flaw as a parent stems from thoughtlessness. To Vanessa, it manifests as not considering what she’d want and is basing his actions off what he wanted to have as a child. To Norm, he gives many harsh putdowns and treats him as another expendable invention without taking into account that Norm has a very advanced AI and is human in all but physical components only. 

That being said, Heinz is appreciative when Norm saves him. However, it takes a near-death experience to make Heinz say it, and he probably wouldn’t do this in everyday life. I’m sure Heinz will be back to denying he’s Norm’s dad tomorrow. 

And here’s where we get to the main entree. Buckle up folks, I’ve got a lot to say about the episode “A Real Boy.” 

This episode really highlights the favoritism Heinz is unconsciously repeating with Vanessa and Norm. When Heinz thinks he made Vanessa feel terrible, he instantly tries thinking of ways to cheer her up. However, Norm doesn’t know the doting and overprotective father that Vanessa knows. 

“Sir, you can have a game of catch with me. I’ve always thought of you as my fa-”

“Norm, you’re in my light!” 

“-ther.” 

Heinz expresses that he wouldn’t mind having a son, but shows a complete lack of self-awareness towards how Norm is as much a member of the family as Perry the Platypus and Vanessa are. 

With the exception of Phineas and Ferb Busters, in past episodes Norm can usually shrug off Heinz’s hurtful comments with a passive-aggressive remark of his own. 

But now we see that Norm is very much affected by Heinz’s refusal to accept him as a son. 

“And I’m the father! And I have to treat her with the respect she deserves in a caring, fatherly fashion.”

...

“I’ll blast her with one of my inators!”

Of course, blasting your daughter with an inator isn’t exactly respectful, but compare this line to the above with Norm and there’s a huge contrast between how he proudly admits that he’s one child’s father while the other gets the shaft. 

Heinz does not have any positive parental influences to draw from. Since the dynamic in his childhood was golden child/scapegoat, that’s what Heinz learned.

This is going to be hard to admit and I know you guys don’t want to think of Heinz in this way, but Heinz is repeating the emotional abuse he received in childhood on Norm. As stated above, Heinz goes through cycles in which he puts Norm down one moment and plays hide-and-seek and makes popsicle stick brides the next. 

It’s ironic that Heinz is unaware that his treatment of Norm is the most evil he will ever be. 

I’m putting the entire song of A Real Boy here because I want you to pay close attention to the lyrics. 

Norm puts himself down at the beginning of the song, likely with phases that Heinz has used on him. 

Now he asks himself, “If I were a living, breathing human boy, would my father accept me and take me out to do activities that a normal father/son would do?” 

At the end, he tells the backup singers not to worry about him. He’ll be fine. Who cares about what I want, amirite? 

Heinz was in the same boat in his childhood. Constantly putting himself down, asking what he could change about himself to make a parent show their love, and telling himself that the way he’s living is fine and he’d better not sound ungrateful or else. 

I’m hesitating on calling this a lie when Norm claims that he’s Heinz’s son while the latter is affected by his Forget-About-It inator. This is one of those moments where you can understand why someone acts the way they do even if it’s not right. 

Honestly, it feels like I’m going in circles with this whole “here’s a moment where Heinz appreciates Norm and doesn’t put him down and here’s another one where he mistreats Norm!” 

Give credit to Vanessa. She looks out for her siblings regardless of species. 

“It occurs to me that though I’ve never had a son, there is someone who I can always count on to be there. Someone I've begun to think of as family. And that someone is Perry the Platypus. See you around, junkpile.” 

Don’t worry Norm, he’ll treat you better next season. He’s still in denial unfortunately. 

“Try not to be a complete disappointment.”

Oh really? How about you try not to be a complete disappointment cause your brother is way more accomplished than you could ever hope to be, Heinz. 

History is repeating itself. 

It’s interesting how Norm shows similarities to Heinz here. They’re both out to prove themselves to someone, they monologue, and they’d love nothing more than to be accepted by their parent. 

However, Norm shows that he’s willing to break from the mold by developing a weapon to force submission rather than use the normal routine. He’s not afraid to assert his individuality because he wants to win his father’s love through the most effective means possible. 

“If I’m gonna be a conqueror and win my father’s love, I’ll take it to the people with the eagle, not the dove!” 

Norm’s entire motivation for taking over the Tri-State Area is simply to make Heinz proud. How many plans has Heinz scribbled up over the years to make his parents proud only to have them backfire spectacularly? 

Norm fails to realize that Heinz is against complete annihilation because there wouldn’t be anyone left to subjugate. 

As expected, Heinz isn’t happy with Norm’s attempt to take over the Tri-State Area. 

Maybe next time, big guy.

“Space is cold and unforgiving, like my father!” 

Perry, Vanessa, and Norm know when to show sympathy and when not to take Heinz’s crap. That’s what I love about them. 

Norm often delivers scathing remarks that Heinz deserves, whereas Heinz doesn’t badmouth his parents even though it’s completely justified. 

Love at First Byte gives us a huge development in their relationship. Heinz doesn’t automatically disregard Norm’s feelings about not having a date for the block party, and spends the entire episode giving him advice. 

Forgive me for inserting my personal headcanon here, but I believe that in order for Heinz to take this huge step forward, he would need to do some soul-searching about the way he treated Norm in the past. It probably took a few smacks from Perry to drive the point home as well. 

Heinz wingmaning for Norm is great. This episode has a lot of great father/son bonding in general. 

Off topic, but I still want to know what Heinz has against Sagittariuses since that’s my star sign. 

He’s so proud of Norm. 

Fact of life, Heinz. Your children are always going to somehow find themselves in a Romeo and Juliet situation. Without all the dying. 

Another similarity: dates tend to end poorly. 

You’re not father and son until you’re trying to get rid of pests together and fail miserably. 

They’ve both come a long way since Norm was invented in the early summer. 

He’s so proud of his son. 

Conclusion: Heinz and Norm’s relationship is very complex. Even though they had a rocky start and both still have much to learn in the future, Heinz has finally come to accept Norm as a son. 

Themurphyzone is out! Peace! 

[man-i-dont-know]

BNHA Chapter 168: Thoughts and Spoilers

This chapter frustrated me so let’s get straight into it.

I wanna start with saying that this chapter blind sided me so hard that I want to revoke every theory I presented last week about Aoyama, but, on the other hand, I was blind sided so hard that I understand less arguably. So I suppose I won’t revoke any of my previous theories, but I don’t have any particular faith in them any more after this chapter.

Deku saw Aoyama on his veranda, and was thoroughly spooked. I would be too. Aoyama left a serial-killer-esque letter composed of different cheeses for Deku to find that read “I know.” The school day proceeds fairly normally except Aoyama winks at Deku when class first starts and the narrator takes over for a while (aka future number 1 hero Deku). Class 1-A is let out so they can do their hero course work and we see some light-hearted chit chat. Kaminari makes a comment that recently pro heroes are getting into hero groups and working as a team. This comment could have been thrown in for the sake of the readers, so we can better understand the “political climate” of the hero world. With the symbol of peace gone, heroes working in groups would feel safe, though I imagine they would have lost some mobility, so small crimes may be easier to get away with.

Everyone goes into the gym and starts working on their super moves and their hero skills. Kirishima just wants people to kick the crap outta him, calling out Satou, Bakugou, and Deku specifically. Deku declines and as Bakugou goes to fight Kirishima, Bakugou asks if Deku has improved at all. I think this is interesting cause Bakugou is the one checking, not Deku telling. After the whole raid arc, Bakugou must have been curious, and I think that Deku is selling himself short. Even if his skills did not increase, his experience and knowledge did. Something I have been thinking about recently is how Bakugou has quite a bit less experience with combat than Deku. Deku has fought Todoroki all out, Stain, Muscular, and now Chisaki. Deku also came up with the rescue plan to get Bakugou away from the League of Villains (not the plan to do it, but the plan to jump out of hiding and grab him and leave). Bakugou on the other hand has fought a half-hearted Todoroki, fended off some henchmen that were “weak” from the USJ envasion, partolled with Best Jeanist, fought Moonfish (I think his name was) with Todoroki and I believe some other type of restriction, he was escorted through the camp site by his class mates, kidnapped and forced on the defensive instead of actually fighting, and hasn’t fought anyone since. IN sheer experience, Deku has the clear lead, not only in combat, but also coming up with a plan and executing it in a high tension situation. The whole point of that was Bakugou was checking on Deku, I don’t think there was any care there, but Bakugou tried to trust Deku by giving an honest answer, which Deku did not actually do, at least not in Bakugou’s eyes. Recently I heard a conversation that bullies are dependent on the people they bully, but I don’t see Bakugou as dependent on Deku, Bakugou feels threatened by Deku and that is the reason why he acts the way he does. This simple check in was just Bakugou trying to see Deku’s side of things, while still containing that competitive edge to it.

Anyway, Deku says he won’t beat up Kirishima, and makes eye contact with Aoyama, who tells him to look, and laser-blasts a lot of rocks (I’d like to add that the first rock he lasers while making direct eye contact with Deku. Aoyama is an enigma cause as soon as I assume something, he goes and surprises me). After he blasts the rocks, he writes a french phrase in one of the rocks that says “still water runs deep” (at least that is what I have read from others talking about this panel). Some people have taken this phrase as a warning, as some kind of deeper message. Aoyama doubles over cause his quirk hurts his stomach and Deku helps him over to the side. Once there, Deku directly asks Aoyama what that cheese message meant. Aoyama says that they are the same, and that their quirks don’t fit their bodies. Deku would break in the the early arcs whenever he used his quirk and Aoyama says that when he was a kid his laser power would leak and cause problems without the belt. Deku visibly relaxes and says that the cheese surprise Aoyama left was a huge success, This next panel bothers me because Aoyama does not react happily to this, he hardly reacts at all. He seemed more depressed than anything, which could lead to more theories, but I’ll only briefly talk about those later. Aoyama then craps his pants. That is canon.

Fast forward a day or two and Aoyama and Deku have become friends, Mina and Kaminari made remarks between each other that Aoyama has visibly perked up or have become more lively. Even the narrator (future Deku) says that they became friends. Future Deku needs to stop being an unreliable narrator. “Long internship” “True colors” geez man, does Aoyama’s dramatics rub off on Deku in the future? (I will admit, I like the idea that Deku becomes a character with a lot of connections to very different types of people who he is all friends with. A space/gravity hero? Yep. Frog hero? Yep. Blasty hero? Yep. Hero with engine legs? Yep. Sparkle hero? Yep. This also extends to future generations of heroes or even people who are police officers or other oddly connected groups)

Alright, so I am gonna discuss some theories, but they aren’t mine, just stuff I’ve read (this first one was from a post I read by redhairedanne, sorry I don’t really know how to give proper credit). Aoyama is a spy. He is the “counter-traitor” that has been keeping an eye on the students to try to figure out the real traitor. I like this, because the last two chapters have put a really strange emphasis on Aoyama and I think that he must have some kinda role in the story, also the really weird french phrase has been interpreted as being mistrustful of someone. There have also been theories that Aoyama is just that he is excruciatingly awkward and this was the only real way he could start a conversation. There were probably others, but the traitor theories were gone into pretty deeply last week by me and others. so here are my last comments, aka, things we know for certain about Aoyama: he is really observant, he has had several panels and now full chapters that cast some sort of suspicion on his person, he tried to foil the Bakugou kidnapping at camp, he has very few friends (possibly only Deku as his only friend), he is really committed to his aesthetic, and he hasn’t taken initiative on hardly anything (the only times being at the hero license exam and at the camp, the first was a guerrilla attack and the second seemed self-sacrificing though he did get his license).

That’s all I’ve got to say, I am actually surprised this post is as long as it did because I was planning on just saying “oh jeez man I don’t know what’s happening at this point” then duck out. Well despite that, thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day.

((I am still fairly new to tumblr, so if there is any etiquette I am missing out on, whether it is sourcing things, tags, whatever that submission thing is in my options menu is, please let me know. I’d appreciate it. Ok. That’s it for real. Have a good one.))

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

Crash Bandicoot 4: Better Than You’d Expect (a Review)

Right, you horrible lot. I promised you a review of Crash Bandicoot 4 and, as I appear to be the last stable person and/or thing in the chaos of modern Britain, I suppose I had better deliver. I would say something about Xmas, but what with this being International Year of the COVID Virus, there sort of wasn’t one. With that in mind: Crash 4- what, why and is it any good?

As a kid, I used to really like the Crash Bandicoot games on the old PS1: the levels were beautiful and imaginative (although, to this day, the ‘Road To Nowhere’ level and its sequel in Crash 1 can fuck right off), the characters were funny and compelling and the move-set was entertainingly bonkers. Naturally, Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time (and yes, that is the real title) pushed my Nostalgia Button even faster and harder than I’d push Boris Johnson down and endless flight of stairs, given half a chance. It helps that it’s superbly well-made by a developer that clearly cares deeply about the games and not just the selling power of their brand name.

The game is a direct sequel to the original three Crash games and sweeps the intervening efforts from lesser developers under the great rug of history. For the most part, this is probably wise considering that their quality usually hovered somewhere between ‘sewage’ and ‘being trapped at a Beyonce concert without a cyanide pill’ (yes, Internet, I still hate Beyonce. Just because I haven’t mentioned it in awhile, doesn’t mean I’ve warmed to the catawalling bint or her irritating ubiquity on otherwise-acceptable supermarket mix tapes. That would require a frontal lobotomy and the removal of my ears, but I digress). I do think it’s a bit unfair on Crash: Twinsanity, which at least had an interesting core gameplay concept and some funny dialogue, even if it wasn’t very well-realised on the mechanical level. But ho-hum: I can nit-pick later during the loose ‘what I didn’t like’ section- these early paragraphs are meant to be mainly praise.

The actual plot concerns an escape attempt by Neo Cortex and N. Tropy, who were apparently trapped at the beginning of time after the events of Crash 3. News to me: I guess you had to collect all the hidden extras to see that ending and, while the 90s were a much slower decade, I still didn’t have time for that shit, even back then. Anyway, they break back into the timeline, in the process shattering reality itself and forcing Crash to make his way across the multiverse and different worlds at different points in history in order to stop them. There’s not a lot of complexity there, but as a justification for having the levels all be radically aesthetically different and providing a jumping-in premise for fan favourite characters, it’s a plot that does its job. Despite it’s simplicity, it’s also offered up with a surprising number of twists, fun cut-scene asides and surprising little narrative flourishes. The re-introduction of Tawna (Crash’s girlfriend from the first game who was tastefully removed after the original developers fired Kevin The Furry from their team) is kind of sweet and handled pretty neatly. And I mean that in the sense of ‘aww, that’s sweet’ not ‘Ah, sweet, bro’, just to be clear. She’s obviously not the same character from the original games, but the developers have taken care to give her enough quirks and entertaining lines that she’s not just the standard ‘Badass Action Girl’ trope made flesh. The levels that where you get to play as Cortex and get into the head of a cartoon evil genius are fun, too, even if they don’t tell us anything about the character we couldn’t have figured out for ourselves.

As with the original games, the worlds and levels have a really idiosyncratic and stylish look. Just looking at the scenery is a blast. My personal favourites are a level clearly based on New Orleans in the middle of Mardi Gras, the planet Bermagula and basically all of the levels set in a Crash-ised version of Feudal Japan.

As nice as the levels are to look at, they’re mostly pleasant to play through, too, with a staggering variety of different gameplay elements coming together to create intricate challenges. That said, I should stress that the phrase ‘mostly pleasant’ comes with a massive, throbbing caveat, which brings us neatly to the designated gripes and nitpicks section of this review.

You see, while the levels are mostly well-designed, there are individual platforming challenges that just lump too much together for any normal person to keep track of and then demand that you solve them at speed and they break the delicate, wafer-thin boundary between ‘fair challenge’ and ‘taking the piss’. Actually, the incidents of this phenomena towards the start of the game take the piss. By the later levels, they’ve graduated to demanding other bodily fluids, too, such as tears and blood. I feel like the developers were a bit too in love with the original games’ reputation for punishing difficulty and got into a bad habit of opting for design choices that emulated it over design choices that were fun.

I also feel that, considering the game takes place across a time-shattered multiverse, the levels might have been a bit more varied. Don’t get me wrong, there are some gorgeous and brilliantly creative worlds on offer in Crash 4, and every level is a visual blast. However, with the single, solitary exception of Bermagula, every alternate universe you visit is ultimately a reflection of something familiar from our own world or culture. N. Sanity Beach is… well, it’s just a tropical beach with generically tribal ruins a bit further inland. The Hazardous Wastes are just an off-brand post-disaster planet Earth that owes more than a little to the Mad Max franchise and where you’ve definitely seen every individual component before (even if they’ve never been assembled in such a Crash-y way until now). Then there’s the made-entirely-of-pirate-tropes world, the Japan-but-not-really world, the Inevitable Fucking Ice World (which keeps getting included in games despite the fact that uncontrollable sliding is even less fun in precision platformers than it is in real life) and the Generically Futuristic City world, because the old Crash games had them so this one has to as well. None of these worlds are bad- like I said, I enjoyed all of them, and the others that didn’t quite merit an honourable mention besides. It’s just that I feel like greater flights of fancy could have been taken: we could have seen some truly alien geography and architecture; viewed whole of evolutionary timelines, all through the lens of Crash’s brilliantly slick, cartoony art-style. The only truly ‘out there’ world we visit is Bermagula, which takes up precisely one fucking level, then that’s your lot: it’s back to Crash-y versions of Earth locales.

I’m also not a big fan of the ‘gems’ system. Yes, it’s great that developers chose to use the gems that were such a big part of previous games to unlock funky little cosmetic bonus costumes for the playable characters. On the other hand, the outfits you unlock should be tied to the number of gems you have overall, not your ability to collect certain numbers from specific levels. That way, your wardrobe would be a measure of your general skill at the game, not of which levels’ platforming challenges you were most willing to put up with for multiple play-throughs.

I’m tempted to compare all this to the superlative one-two punch that was Rayman: Origins and Rayman: Legends- two of the best platforming games ever made. With the exception of a couple of fuck-off unreasonable boss fights, the platforming challenges in those games were perfectly, legitimately fair. Insanely tough sometimes, but fair. Their level and world design also nailed the ‘weird-as-fuck flight of fancy’ vibe as well. Even the Inevitable Fucking Ice World in those games had the decency to throw in some giant cocktail umbrellas and slices of lemon to make you feel like you were ice-skating your way through the world’s biggest Martini while a fucking dragon in a chef’s hat tried to bit a mountain in the background. They also tied cosmetic unlocks to overall performance.

None of this is to say that Crash 4 isn’t good, it’s just that it doesn’t quite measure up to the gold standard set by the Rayman: Origins and its sequel. If it helps, think of it like comparing The Talos Principle to Portal. Yes, the former is good, but it’s never going to outshine the latter’s star. I recommend Crash 4, but if the last platformer you played was the undeniable high water mark of either of the Raymans, just remember to adjust your filters going in.

Before I go, does anyone else find it funny that these games have such colourful, kiddy-friendly aesthetics and characters yet demand a level of competence and coordination that’s usually only achieved by more seasoned, grown-up gamers? I mean, there are challenges in Crash 4- admittedly optional ones- that might one day be completed only if a being comes into existence that has the reflexes of a supercomputer crossed with a surprised feline and is made entirely out of thumbs.

And on that horrifying mental image, I must say goodnight. Tune in next time for my usual end-of-year roundup.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 34 - NYI - Clap Back

3-2 OT Loss

Coming into this game it was the Eastern Conference’s two 2nd place teams in their divisions. You might have guessed the New York Islanders would be in this position before the season began; but the Sabres being in second place in their division in December is entirely new for most of us younger fans in Buffalo. Colin Miller sneaks an OT winner against Edmonton and next time you look over the Sabres are on a three-game winning streak. Though it may be a streaky stretch since Thanksgiving don’t say they haven’t been tested. None of the opponents on this three-game banger have been slouches. Say what you will about Nashville and a recent slump from St. Louis, they’re not the beneficiaries of a weak part of the schedule. They’ve faced adversity, often early on, in each of those contests. The formula we’ve seen in wins this season is… well not all that consistent. Ralph Krueger has experimented with the deployment so much that is feels pretty normal to see Jeff Skinner dragging any number of different line mates. There only line that seems consistent is Eichel’s. The experimentation has had a very positive impact on the defensive ranks where players who literally asked out in the offseason like Rasmus Ristolainen has seen his career as a Sabre resurrected by the ascendant Brandon Montour. Colin Miller has saved Jake McCabe. Henri Jokiharju has saved Marco Scandella. Weird world, eh? If it gets us win streaks I can’t say I’m complaining. The point here is in a variety of situations this hockey teams has weathered adversity. That’s a big component of championship team. I don’t know if this club is that caliber yet, but they are showing the signs. Today they weathered the adversity with their special teams: can you think of any other game this season where you can say they’ve accomplished that specific feat? Where they weathered adversity WITH THEIR SPECIAL TEAMS? You might look to a few games back in October but its no secret the powerplay has never been totally stellar. Using your weakness as a strength? That’s clap back energy. They had it today.

The first period adversity hit hard today. The Islanders came out with speed and dekes. Linus Ullmark was tested frequently early on. The Isles forecheck was something out of a playoff game. It was so killer that about five minutes in when Ullmark opted to keep the puck in play hoping for a zone exit he was immediately punished. Jeff Skinner kinda laid the puck off the Ullmark who put it back to the boards hoping for Rasmus Dahlin to move on with it and instead Anthony Beauvillier scooped it up and sent it to the streaking Michael Dal Colle. Colle sunk it. It was 1-0 Islanders and the visitors began finding their moments. In the back half of the first period they were able to make more successful zone exits before it degraded back into the dump-in-chase show. What do the tough do when going gets tough? Well… I guess they get tough on the boards. Marco Scandella laid a hard but legal hit on an Islander on the boards and Josh Bailey came after him shortly thereafter for what they call extracurricular activities. It is Saturday though so idk if that’s what you call it, LOL. Both ended up entangled on the ice, but it was the Sabres who went to a powerplay that gave them some momentum that carried into the second period. They got another powerplay early in that period and it was just okay at first. You don’t like the Sabres spending a full 35 seconds of it without the puck but we’re at a phase with this team’s powerplay where you just need to count your blessings. After they got the puck for a sustained time Captain Jack got the puck over to Dahlin at the point who blasted it to Victor Olofsson for the one timer. It went top shelf in and out. With that it was tied and Jack Eichel’s point streak moved to 16 games.

The Sabres penalty kill hasn’t been terrible since Thanksgiving. It got a full workout as the second period went on. One, Two and Three calls against the team from Buffalo. The Risto holding call was very late and Johansson interference call was weak if you ask me but I’m not one to waste time complaining about the refs. Beauvillier certainly sold it hard. Nothing came of those chances and it was a tie game going into the second intermission. Just like all the games in this recent stretch, it could have gone either way by the feel of it. Now I know I just said I’m not the one to complain about refs but one of the things that can decide a game that goes either way are the calls… or the ones you don’t get. There were several egregious non-calls that hurt Buffalo in the third period. For the sake of appearing like I sincerely don’t want to talk about officiating I’ll only point out one of said non-calls. The Sabres are on the powerplay on the only call they got in the third and are doing battle along the walls to the right of Semyon Varlamov in the Islanders net. Jack Eichel gets held and hauled down to the ice. The puck battle is still going on and he looks around in shock that it wasn’t called. He got up and got back to work on the powerplay. A few moments later he got the puck in a frantic stick-whipping match right in front of Varlamov before whipping it into the netting with less than two minutes left in regulation. That’s leadership. That’s not just assurance of his league-leading point streak, that’s the most palpable example of this team’s new clap-back energy. It got this game into overtime. The phrasing of the change we’ve seen in the Sabres under Ralph Krueger was “play connected” but something now plainly obvious after 34 games is that you can complete the sentence: “Play Connected and Clap Back!”

The OT was as consistent as the Sabres overall effort today: on point. Buffalo carried the possession in the extra frame and had some sick chances including one where the puck ended up on top of the Isles net. Nonetheless this game was one decided by momentary mistakes. Jack Eichel fanned on a pass in just such a way to allow Beauvillier to pick it up to go off on the breakaway and end the game. The Sabres were narrowly the better team in this game but as fans its hard to feel hard-done-by when their effort throughout was so good. I mean if you want to get pissy about the refs this game feels like the right one to do so. Nonetheless this was a great game. Rasmus Dahlin had a decided lead among defenseman in time-on-ice and while you may know exactly whose second in that category without even looking Dahlin’s play was a very encouraging sign today. Perhaps one player’s absence was very felt on this Sabres team. No, I know Miller was benched in the rotation, but we’ve talked that one to death. How about Zach Bogosian? I think we have to be thankful he wasn’t in this game. Alleged trade request aside he would’ve gotten the Islanders so many more powerplays in this tight game. The guy is more of the Islanders style of fighting a dangerous physical battle when you can just win the right way instead. Hey… what can we get from New York for Bogosian? I digress: after a Post-Thanksgiving resurgence defined by revitalized 5-on-5 play the Sabres almost won this game because of a determined edge in special teams. How wild is that? The Captain’s point total reached a league high on the season at 16 games and apart from the full win what more can you really ask for out of this game? Don’t say better officiating, we all know that won’t happen in this league.

Now we once again find ourselves staring down another tilt with Toronto on Tuesday. This road trip is stacked with a closer against the surging Philadelphia Flyers on Thursday. Toronto is the main course as they’ll have just gotten home from the Western Canada road trip that gave us a hurting last week. They lost to Calgary on Thursday and hopefully Edmonton tonight. You could say they’ll be hungry, but I like to think they’ll feel defeated. Get two points. If the special teams play like this for us on Tuesday I don’t see why not. It just so happens that of right now the Sabres and the Flyers happen to have the same number of points in the standings. Surging or not I like our odds against them too. I was wrong in Western Canada but hopefully the mid-Atlantic treats me better. In the meantime: like, share and comment on this blog. I think the Bills can pull it off on Sunday night football. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. Considering the snooze-fest that was that early November game against the Isles back in Buffalo I’ll consider this one some revenge.

[georgeshutcheson]

How To Do Email Marketing In 2019

New Post has been published on https://www.spenserreview.org/how-to-do-email-marketing-in-2019/

How To Do Email Marketing In 2019

What is the purpose of your email marketing campaign? Whether you’re a B2B or B2C, the purpose is typically going to be the same. You’re going to want some sort of engagement back from whoever you’re sending it to, whether or not you got these people from subscribing on your website to a newsletter, or you purchased their name through a list, or you got their name through a list. Either way, the purpose is typically some sort of engagement back. Now, the level of engagement that you’re looking for, that’s where it comes down to how you’re going to create your email and how you’re going to do the creative behind it.

Be specific with your e mail marketing

But the purpose is sending out something and in 2019, 2018 too, and it’s going to continue to be like this. The trends are down as far as open rate, click rate, and things like that because email marketing is losing its effectiveness because marketers like me and possibly you have just ruined it over the past 10 years. With it being less effective, you want to try and get straight to the point which is going to change some of the creative side. What email system are you using? There’s tons of CRM systems out there. You can be using a free one, like constant contact or MailChimp.

So many email marketing software to chose from

Those have their limitations, especially if they’re free. Even the paid ones have limitations too. We’re just doing one off blast. You can’t really control the format too much, which we’ll get into next, but CRM systems out there. HubSpot is a very popular. I’m personally not a fan of it because of the cost and because of how they lock you into a multi year contract. It also has its limitations from a design standpoint. Infusionsoft is something that we used years ago and used for many years. That is a great system because not only does it have the plain text, email marketing format that will go into next, but then it also has a ton of back-end automation to put people through campaigns and nurture them and build all that out.

Infusionsoft is a great option. Sharpspring is great because it does some advanced tracking and some advanced list building and things like that and it searches out on the Internet and social platforms and things like that and pulls information back in. SharpSpring is great for it, whether it uses Zoho, Sugar, CRM, anything like that, you have to have some sort of system in place. You do not want this to just be a one off blast. You have to keep on going back in and set it up. You want to build out a campaign to where you’re sending micro pieces of content, let’s say over eight weeks and you’re hitting everybody either once a week or once every two weeks and you’re building out so that when somebody new gets put in your funnel, you know that they’re going to get these six emails right ma’am, emails over eight weeks, 10 weeks, 12 weeks, whatever it is, but building out that automation first is going to be critical to make it efficient.

But if you’re just anxious to get something out there and see some sort of response like I was initially, you can just send out a broadcast email to say, “I’m sending something out to everybody on the list and then this is what you want to call to action to be, to at least get some sort of engagement.” But either way, put a system in place. Do not try and do this, preferably, with a constant contact or MailChimp. Do not try and do with that. Spend a little bit of money.

Avoid emails that look like home depot ad

There’s a bunch of CRM systems that’ll do monthly plans like SharpSpring, Infusionsoft, and others. Just for a small amount of money just put it in there and you’ll be much better off. The format. This is the biggest change that has happened over probably the last two years. Some people are picking up to it now, and I’ve been saying this for a couple of years and we implemented it years ago, is you cannot make your email marketing look like a home depot ad. You need to remove the images, you need to remove the band of text at the top that says, “View this in a browser.” Remove your headline, remove your logo, remove stuff embedded inside of the body, remove as many images as possible and you want this just to be in simple plain text and you want to still have it be an HTML.

I’m not saying go to a rich text format. You still want the HTML because you still want to embed the code and the tracking code so that way, you can track what they’re clicking and what they aren’t clicking in the opens, but you got to stop making it look like an ad where you’ve got images all over the place and click here and watch this and it just looks like an ad that you’ll see. One thing is that depending on what type of email system this is going to, whether it’s corporate one or it’s a Gmail system or something like that, they will automatically flag it and throw it into the junk or spam or with Gmail they’ll put into promotions, if you have too many images or too many links.

Be careful not to spam

The format needs to be simpler to where you’re just saying, essentially, you’re trying to make it look like you just type this email. You can say some sort of intro and then go straight into some text. Make sure that it’s not a big paragraph of text. You want it to be broken out to where you’ve got separation between your thoughts and your lines, putting a link in there because you want to be able to track this with your CRM system that you’re sending it through. Putting a link which is your main call to action or maybe two that’s all I would say is the max because otherwise this stuff is going to get flagged as spam. When you lay it out, make sure it’s very clear, very straight to the point. Keep it simple and short because people are not going to want to scroll through emails like they used to and putting maybe max two links in there and then driving that creative throughout your entire email marketing campaign is going to be a must have because you want to make it look like it’s a sequence that’s consistent with the creativity behind it.

The biggest point here is to stop using images that flag spam. Nobody likes looking at them and especially if you’re doing B2B, this just looks really cheesy these days. The center line content is the other side of that. When you look at an email from email marketing standpoint, when it comes into you, you can see that people have everything center justified and there’s a box and there’s a border along each side of it that looks like an automation tool created it and that looks very cheesy and generic, again, like an ad. You can go into the backend of the CSS and do some code changes there.

Or some email systems like Infusionsoft can make it look just by default, like you want it to be a plain email. You want everything shifted to the left justification. You want it to look just like a normal email that you signed. You do not want to have borders or images or banners or anything like that. Just make it look as plain and as simple as possible. Have a simple signature, no big logos, no big images, nothing like that. Then the other side of it, if you want to a little hack is buried that unsubscribe down below, put some space in between the end of your email signature and then where that unsubscribe is put 600 pixels, 800 pixels of empty space because that way people can just easily scroll and click unsubscribe because you want it to not appear like you’re just sending somebody through automation. Keeping it simple is the biggest factor here in the email marketing format in 2019. Systems are getting smart to it, people are getting annoyed with it, so you just keep it simple. All right. Now, we’re getting into the email list.

Whether you have a list or it’s a couple of years old, it’s outdated or you want to get some new contacts into your list, this is going to be the critical step to get quality data. In my experience, I do not use any sort of list building services that get their information from Hoovers or DNB and it’s old and outdated and they’re going to build a list based on your criteria. We get hit from those companies all the time. I’ve known people that have owned those companies before. To me, that is not a play to go down because you have zero control. If you can’t search and query it yourself and look at the data and then pull more, and more, and more, that’s not an effective way to build the list. The best way that I’ve ever received a bill of list is going to be ZoomInfo.

Now, ZoomInfo, that’s something we used for years. We’re currently not using it. This is not endorsed by them, but ZoomInfo, you can look into their system. I don’t know what the pricing is going to be when you are reading this post, but right now it’s about $5,000 a year. You get 5,000 automatic exports, but you get to access their entire database and you just get to do search queries in it, and keyword phrases, and cities, and states, and titles, and things like that. You get to go into their system, pull all that information out, you can copy and paste it into a spreadsheet to not use any of your credits, or you can just upload it into the system and then download it with one click to use some of your credits.

But either way, for a year, $5,000 if you’re really looking to build out a list, this is the most effective for anybody that’s bootstrapped and doing it from the ground up that doesn’t have the marketing spend. You can put the $5,000 in and then just build a list out by searching, copy, and pasting into a spreadsheet. The other way to do it is to hire a freelancer or somebody from the outside to strictly do data scraping. From that aspect is you’re going to build out search queries or you’re going to build a list of search criteria and pay somebody most likely offshore or overseas, so that when the rate is lower, pay somebody to go through, do a Google search, find a company name, go to that website, pull the contact information, and copy that onto the spreadsheet. That’s really the other way to do it. At the end of the day, that’s probably going to be the least cost behind it, but there is going to be some issues with language barriers.

It could be communication issues, the quality of it, the time of it, things like that. Really at the end of the day, the only two options that I see for building our list is going to be using ZoomInfo and searching list yourself or using a freelancer or an agency from the outside that can do offshore list building because it is going to be ridiculously cheap compared to using somebody in the US or in Europe, if you can. Ideally, you want to try and have a list built by having a newsletter then having people subscribe to it and then you can just send out your newsletter once a week, once a month, things like that. But from the beginning when you have nobody and you don’t want to wait months and months and or a year to get a newsletter list built up before you send your first piece, go out there and get that information. The other way you can do it is to use your LinkedIn connections. Now, I try not to have us reach out to people through LinkedIn using their email addresses because most time it’s their personal email addresses, but sometimes wires get crossed and they get pulled into our system and they get blasted.

A lot of times people are going to get either annoyed by that or they’re going to click the unsubscribe and flag you as spam, which would cause issues in the future. But just sending people a link on LinkedIn or posting and saying, “Hey guys, check out my newsletter. Here’s some content we’re producing. Just subscribe so you can be notified.

We’ll send it to you every week.” That would be the best way to do it. But if you don’t have that luxury, if you don’t have the time ZoomInfo or having somebody do data scraping for you outside, you can go to upwork.com or any sort of freelance site and get them to have somebody that you can look at reviews and say, “This person has been doing this. Here’s all the reviews. Their cost is maybe three, four, five, six bucks an hour, 10 bucks an hour or something like that.” Have them build out the list and then they get that back to you quickly and you can start building slowly over time. But either way, building that list in my recommendation, do not use any sort of third party group that’s going to say, “I’m going to build your list for you,” because most of the time they suck.

[heywritebetter]

All of Your Characters Talk The Same

    People talk different. This sounds obvious, but you would be shocked how often I see people who don’t seem to understand the principle that their voice doesn’t come out of everyone else’s mouth—or at least, you’d think so from their writing. I don’t know where this problem comes from exactly. Perhaps it has its genesis in TV and Film, where Joss Whedon can write a full cast of characters that speak in glib, quippy banter, because he can rely on the actors to give character through their inflection and body language. Maybe it’s because all writers are shut in losers who only communicate with the outside world through furious rants scrawled on McDonald’s napkins. More likely though, it’s because the nuances of human communication are numerous and impossible to fully wrap one’s brain around. So if you don’t instantly understand the ins and outs of how people talk, congratulations, you’re basically a normal person. I’m not going to be able to teach you in one blog post what experts have tried and failed to understand for hundreds of years, but I’m gonna teach you how to damn well fake it.

    Now, first off, I should let you know that this article isn’t going to teach you how to write varied character voices. Good writers can do that, sure, but you’re probably never going to be a good writer. And that’s fine! Because, and I’m gonna let you in on a little industry secret here, most of your favorite writers probably aren’t good writers; they’re actually just good editors in disguise. It is almost impossible to write something well on your first try, at least without years of experience, and voice is one of the areas where that is most pronounced. If, in your first draft, everyone talks exactly like you, there’s absolutely no shame in that, so long as you recognize it and fix it in editing.

    “But you still haven’t told us how to fix it,” you screech, spiking your phone onto the sidewalk in a fit of defiant rage.

    Pipe down you petulant strawman, I’m getting to it. First off, when thinking about a character’s voice, it can often be helpful to think of… well, an actual voice. That is to say, a specific voice—of someone you know, of a famous person, of that wacky racist “Korean” impression your dad does, whatever. You would never go into a story without knowing what your characters look like, even down to details you wouldn’t need to describe, yet so many people will hop right in without ever deciding what their characters should sound like. If you have a voice in mind, then when you’re editing, be sure to reread the dialogue in the voice you’ve picked out for the character. If, for example, you wrote the line “forsooth my lord, the foul deed which you hath requested is done,” but you imagined the character to speak in the sultry tones of an aging Danny DeVito, then you know something is probably off. Note that if you’re writing in third person, you still need a voice for your narrator; even if they are detached, it ought to be consistently so.

    Of course, identifying the problem is just the first step to solving it. I can tell you that the gaping shotgun hole blasted in my TV is probably why it doesn’t work anymore, but I’ll be damned if I could fix it. But fret not, as unlike my attempt to fix my TV with pipe cleaners, a glass sheet, and some elmer's glue, there are shortcuts to dialogue editing that actually work!

    One thing to keep in mind is to always vary your vocabulary. Different people know different words, and moreover different people use different words at different times. For example, I am deeply insecure about my intelligence, thus my use of the words “petulant”, ”glib”, and “forsooth”. Others might take the fact that they have no idea what those words mean as a sign that they shouldn’t use them. Formality is also a player here; some people will speak very differently depending on the importance of a situation, while others may speak formally or informally most of the time.

    On the subject of formality, there’s also humor. When does your character feel comfortable telling jokes? What sort of jokes do they like to tell? There’s a big difference between the bookish nerd who makes esoteric literary references among close friends and the strange janitor who deals only in pineapple based humor and feels oddly compelled to do so at funerals. This is obviously critical when writing something comedic, as knowing the proper mouthpiece to deliver a joke through is very important for characterization, but even for more serious works it’s important. Most people tell jokes, at least sometimes, it’s a normal part of communication, and can often tell the audience a lot about a character. Fun fact: doctors, firemen, and other people who experience suffering and death on a day to day basis are known to often have very morbid senses of humor.

    As well, certain people are better at communicating and articulating certain ideas. Your awkward scientist may be able to come up with a succinct analogy to sum up the theoretical physics you googled to explain the space whozit threatening your starship, while struggling to understand or put into word their emotions; or perhaps your impulsive and brash hero may not be able to, in the moment, articulate quite why he’s mad enough to cleave a ogre in half lengthwise with a single stroke, but when he calms down he’ll realize he’s just having a bad case of the mondays. As a writer you have a certain perspective as to what motivates your characters to do what they do, but think of how you are in certain situations; you don’t always, in the moment, know what to say, and it's important to recognize that your characters may not either, and varying when between characters is a great way to make them feel different.

    Going back to something a little simpler, people tend to be drawn to certain turns of phrase. It’s not always something obvious, but if you pay attention you’ll notice that almost everyone has a few expressions or snowclones that they like to use in certain situations. Someone might frequently describe good things as “ace,” or express emphasis by say something was a “____ and a half,” or merely punctuate victories with a drawn out “ayyy”. You may think that feels forced and unrealistic, but people do it all the time, you just don’t notice unless you’re looking. In fact, everything I just listed comes from someone I know. The last one was me. I’m not very popular. The one thing to be careful about with this one is not to overdo it. Like I said, it’s subtle enough that we often don’t even notice people reusing phrases, and if you overdo it just becomes an obnoxious sitcom-ish catchphrase, and no one wants to write the next Steve Urkel. No one.

    Finally, an oft overlooked but very important way is looking at the sentence length, rhythm, and structure. A very educated or stuffy character may speak in long and intricate sentences, while an artist or a poet could speak in flowing organic prose, and a tribal warrior may speak in a staccato of short, blunt phrases. This is obviously one of the more tricky ones to get right, but as a writer you ought to get used to various sentence structures and their effects and uses, and not be afraid to apply that to dialogue.

    All of this may seem intimidating when laid out, but it doesn’t have to be scary. Don’t let this stuff bog you down when you’re writing, but if you find yourself wondering how to make your characters’ voices stronger in editing, remember these tips. Any one of them can have a drastic effect on the quality of your writing, and making each character speak in their own unique voice is one of the most important steps to making your story feel real. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to my day job. I’ve got a funeral home to clean, and I have a bit about a monk and a pineapple that’s gonna knock ‘em dead. Those of them that are not presently deceased, of course.

[id0l-atry]

You Should Experience SEO 2019 At Least Once In Your Lifetime And Here's Why

Colorado SEO Pros CEO Bob Rodgers talks search engine search engine optimization (SEO) strategy, artificial intelligence (AI), and why link building is definitely dangerous for companies. 55 The difference from SEO is many simply depicted as the distinction between paid and unpaid concern ranking searching results. I get into much more detail in SEO Titles on pages: 15-Point Checklist for B2B and B2C Brands, which explains how one can work in relevant keywords that will accurately reflect the page content material. Are good nevertheless SEO potential may be decrease in comparison to single links. The schooling behind our SEO expertise had been developed from years and yrs of learning from mistakes marketing and advertising with our other businesses. Our own in-depth guide contains the most recent SEO best practices so a person can improve how your content appears in search results, plus get more traffic, leads, plus sales. Keyword analysis definitely belongs to the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics. I'll start by stating that social mass media and SEO are heavily linked to each other. Black head wear SEO attempts to improve search positions in ways that are disapproved of with the search engines, or even involve deception. This particular is more tedious and tasking than inorganic SEO because this particular is how all the key phrases get a full blast associated with attention. SEO: It stands for Research Engine Optimization. Within this post, we'll break this down in the complete first timers guide to SEO: what SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is, how it works, exactly what factors affect search and exactly what sorts of changes you may make today to improve your own search optimization. The no follow hyperlink has been contradicted many occasions over where SEO is included and it depends on the particular web owner regarding if they will allow them on the web site or not. Intended for successful team management and inter-client cooperation, online editors really are usually a must, especially those which usually detect and highlight critical SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION errors, non-unique, text, and key word stuffing. By the end of this particular module, you should be capable to define Search Engine Optimisation and explain the basics associated with SEO like a business (as nicely as how SEO shapes the particular Internet itself. ) You'll furthermore be able to explain the particular differences between three main SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION job types, and be ready to choose a career that will best suits your current targets. A highly effective lookup marketing campaign, will encompass each search engine optimisation (SEO) plus pay per click advertising (PPC). One of our favorite on-line toolkits is SEMrush, which consists of a variety of tools with regard to SEO, content marketing, and search engine marketing techniques. An SEO Content Writer is usually somebody who writes content for the particular purpose of having it display up on search engines plus gain website visitors. Internet marketing perfect for the platform of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION or Seo. With voice search arrives two areas of interest in order to SEO folks wishing to link with consumers: intent and circumstance. SocialSEO is proud to help future experts in the entire world of business and marketing along with the annual SocialSEO Digital Marketing and advertising and SEO Scholarship. Finally SEO Wise links enables you to fixed nofollow attribute and open hyperlinks in new window. It helps your SEO work to ensure that your keywords and phrases are added to the destinazione description and it will offer you a ranking boost in the event that your specific terms are obvious in this area. Moreover, a Google Penguin update drastically changed the position of backlinks on SEO, producing it more difficult to obtain link juice to a site. Gone are the times of traditional SEO techniques, on-line content is changing. The cognitiveSEO Rank System offers accurate country, language plus city precision for all your own tracked keywords. Even if your URLs normally are not pretty, ” if you avoid feel as though they're adversely impacting users and your company in general, don't change all of them to be more keyword concentrated for better SEO. ” In case you do need to alter your URL structure, make certain to utilize the proper (301 permanent) type of redirect. In this particular post, we've broken down the particular very best SEO techniques to assist you skyrocket your rankings plus boost your number of regular visitors. An accessible URL will be an important SEO ranking element. Heidi Cohen: To increase 2018 SEO results, marketers will carry on moving away from disposable, after and done content. They concentrate on SEO Internet marketing targets and provide top search motor rank like Google and Google. Collectively, these developments are plus can continue to have the dramatic impact on the method in which we search optimize our websites in 2019 plus form the core of the newest SEO 2019 update briefing.

Siteimprove SEO incorporates sixty six unique SEO checks, including tests for missing meta descriptions, punctuational mistakes, broken links, outdated documents, poor readability, and links in order to unsafe domains. But in case we're looking for a larger trend it's that SEO plus what we call real marketing” will continue to blur the particular lines between them as the particular job of the SEO turns into that of a traditional online marketer - having to understand the particular user, the competitors, the market place and also the implementation part. Thanks for going to the world of Search Motor Optimization (SEO). For example, we regularly generate content on the topic associated with "SEO, " but it's nevertheless very hard to rank nicely on Google for such the popular topic on this acronym alone. What can this industry shifts show about the particular future of SEO and content material marketing? Search engine marketing Blog9T (SEO) is on a move. Whether a person are an SEO Professional, Electronic Marketing Agency, SMB or Brand name, looking to increase your visitors or to monitor your website's evolution, this SEO software can provide you with best within class digital marketing strategy evaluation and insights for your company. Their expertise is definitely incredibly valuable because there will be lots of science to SEO, plus it is constantly changing because search engines like Google keep on to update their algorithms. From a content viewpoint, I'd say one of the particular best ways to get SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION value out of video will be to focus your efforts upon addressing your customer's pain factors. UnGagged Greater london is really a 2-day SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION & Digital Marketing conference that will takes place June 11-12th, along with one-day intensive masterclasses on 06 13th. These ‘quality updates' are very reminiscent of Search engines Panda updates and often influence many websites at the exact same time - and often these types of concentrate on demoting similar ‘low-quality' SEO techniques we have already been told Panda focuses on. I think savvy SEOs are going to utilize AI content generation (text and pictures especially) in 2019 to generate a whole new kind associated with search algorithm gaming, that might almost be viewed as dark hat. This course covers how in order to build strong links for much better SEO. SEO companies ensure that will your site has all associated with the SEO Internet marketing like as business improvement, localized item sales, high quality online era and the rest. 2018 brought many adjustments to the world of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, including a few new criteria evolutions through Google. 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Tug has been appointed specifically to roll out a multi-lingual internet marketing campaign using its knowledge in international SEO and PAY-PER-CLICK. For blog websites the greatest SEO practice would be in order to set the title of your own post in a heading1 label. Search engines is the gatekeeper to huge amounts of traffic and qualified prospects - search engine optimization (SEO) opens the doors. Simply because long as they are gained naturally, inbound links are most likely the most dependable authority contractors in the world of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. We all call this new methodology AdaptiveSEO so that as its title suggests, it is made in order to adapt to the evolving plus sometimes unexpected changes in lookup algorithms. A lot of get confused in this region of SEO article writing suggestions for either they in place too little or maybe the particular wrong kind of keywords, or even they mention the keyword method too much which is occasionally called keyword over stuffing. Social SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION isn't a separate branch associated with SEO and it won't quickly be replacing traditional SEO, yet social signals are becoming more and more incorporated into search engine methods. Perhaps the particular most important aspect of research engine optimization is how a person can actually leverage SEO in order to assist drive more relevant visitors, leads, and sales for your own business. Just browse through the various types of our SEO blog site to find those important on-page ranking factors. According to him, key phrases have already lost their significance and in 2019 this tendency would only get stronger. Seo (SEO) is definitely the most efficient way in order to drive traffic to your web site.

The sensible strategy for SEO would certainly still appear to be in order to reduce Googlebot crawl expectations plus consolidate ranking equity & possible in high-quality canonical pages plus you do that by reducing duplicate or near-duplicate content. This can take a LONG period for a site to recuperate from using black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION tactics and fixing the issues will never necessarily bring organic visitors back as it was prior to a penalty. The particular best SEO Guide is right here to dispel those myths, plus give you all you require to know about SEO in order to show up on the internet and some other search engines, and ultimately make use of SEO to grow your company. > > Upon Page Optimization: On-page SEO is definitely the act of optimizing novel pages with a specific finish goal to rank higher plus acquire more important movement within web crawlers. There are numerous websites providing pertinent information regarding SEO and online marketing, and you could learn from them. But it's confusing why some businesses don't consider harder with analysis, revisions, plus new content with their SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION online marketing strategy. An effective SEO strategy will certainly be made up of a mixture of elements that ensure your internet site is trusted by both customers as well as the research engines. By taking their particular marketing needs online and employing confer with an experienced SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION agency, a business has the capacity to achieve thousands, or even millions associated with people that they would have got not been able to usually. Google My Business is Google's business directory and, thus, extra crucial to your local SEO Detailed businesses using the best SEO may appear in the Local 3-Pack, the batch of 3 highlighted businesses nearest you that show up when you do a appropriate local search. 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This means website owners plus SEO experts will need in order to be on top of their particular game when it comes in order to keyword research and keeping the particular context of their site related to users. Varvy's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Overview tool audits your web site for key parameters like site strength, links, image SEO, sociable counts, on-page SEO, technical standing, page speed, loading time plus more. The particular trouble is that SEO rating factors have changed a great deal over the years (find out there how in our keyword exploration guide ). That means this search engine optimization techniques the fact that worked 5 in years past won't soar today. Let's confirm our knowing of SEO basics with the one question quiz about the particular factors in search rankings: web pages, links and keyphrases. When it comes in order to Google SEO, the rel=canonical hyperlink element has become VERY IMPORTANT over the yrs and NEVER MORE SO. To place the particular focus on the website guest, it has been suggested that will acronym SEO should are a symbol of research experience optimization. It's important to remember in order to share content from your web site or blog socially to provide it an SEO boost as well. Some Webmasters will spend thousands of dollars to several so-called professional SEO expert in order to get their Websites on best in the rankings. It is usually preferable to ask questions upon their SEO procedures and find out whether they have knowledge associated with keyword density or if they will have information about the most recent keyword research strategies and equipment. This combined expertise makes all of us uniquely qualified to present a good ethics-based, search engine-friendly SEO guide to teach you guidelines that will reflect the latest developments looking. They protect important subjects for example search motor success factors and how SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION relates to social media marketing and advertising. In order in order to make web pages appear in high positions in the search outcomes, SEO tries to shape the website according to Google's criteria. The major problem of SEO is the truth that there are billions associated with pages in the internet lookup engine indexes and your place in the SERPS is reliant on a constantly changing formula which is not published. Performing SEO upon your own websites is the great method to practice plus hone your SEO ability. We optimize your web site both of internal and exterior factors thats Google's engine believe in and reliable for top position search result, Gurantee your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION ranking No succeed can refundable. Looking deeper: An SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION cost often means one associated with two things: the investment inside your organic search strategy, or exactly how much you pay for compensated search engine marketing (SEM) solutions like Google AdWords. We all are dealing with new methods designed to target old design SEO tactics and that concentrate around the truism that SITE ‘REPUTATION' plus Plenty of WEB PAGES plus SEO equals Plenty associated with Keywords equals LOTS of Search engines traffic. BrightonSEO is a one-day search marketing and advertising conference and series of education courses held, unsurprisingly, in Brighton. From narrowing straight down target markets to changing the particular way content is written, AI and voice search will possess a continuous effect on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION moving forward. One aspect of SEO is definitely link building, which we may discuss slightly below, which generally leads to thin content. Applications for this 2018-2019 cycle of the SEO Progress programme are now closed plus will re-open again in Early spring 2019. SEO could be complex because search engines are usually reevaluating and changing how these people prioritize search engine results. Moreover, it will help SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION by gaining backlinks, likes, feedback or shares. This particular SEO model is called the "topic cluster, " and contemporary search engine algorithms rely upon them to connect users along with the information they're looking intended for. Your own SEO strategy likely involves articles designed to be shared upon social media. Take this article intended for example, if you search intended for reverse engineer Google, ” seo secrets, ” reverse engineering seo, ” this post is on the particular first page for every associated with those search terms. Social networking and SEO need to be working together, sharing content material or utilizing engagement metrics because data for future article marketing and advertising. Simply put, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is marketing through an knowing of how search algorithms function combined with a knowledge associated with what human users might research for. The results furthermore underscore the value of creating new content with your SEO online marketing strategy. Whenever you create new content centered on your priority keywords, a person have several advantages having an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION marketing strategy. Both SEO and content material marketing converge in numerous places; they will do not work in remoteness. Free to go to SearchLeeds covers everything from specialized SEO and analytics, to PUBLIC RELATIONS, content marketing, paid media in addition to more. Following technical mobile SEO greatest practices (e. g., image optimisation, redirects, JavaScript and CSS) is definitely a necessary barrier to entrance in today's digital world.

SEO specialists started in order to abuse PageRank in order in order to raise the rankings. Now could be a great time to take a nearer take a look at SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION marketing information because search is getting even worse for those types of B2B plus B2C businesses. SEO marketers plus writers typically come up along with different kinds of content in order to place the necessary keywords within. These are some of the particular most used types, and every one helps to lead to the level of variety in conditions of website content. Certain black hat SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION techniques, such as keyword filling, are believed to be the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION equivalent of spamming, and lookup engines will penalize them. Internet marketing is exclusively driven by SEO or research engine optimization. Others are usually simply traditional PR firms which have learned SEO as properly as the value of hyperlinks. Here's a cliche among electronic marketers: Search engine optimization (SEO) isn't what used to end up being. Google announced that will they released several minor enhancements over the period of the particular time of about a 7 days and after analysis, experts inside the SEO industry concluded that will the updates were the outcome of keyword permutations and web site using doorway pages. SEO, or Search Motor Optimization, means setting up your own website and content to show up through online search results. People that want to take their company to some new height plus generally and mostly believe within the way of SEO marketing and advertising.

Here's the truly great news: You don't have in order to have to be a SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION wizard to make sure your own website is well positioned regarding organic search engine traffic. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is the acronym for research engine optimisation. The particular search engines have refined their own algorithms along with this advancement, numerous tactics that worked within 2004 can hurt your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION today. Therefore, we also make content on conducting keyword study, optimizing images for search motors, creating an SEO strategy (which you're reading right now), plus other subtopics within SEO. In 2018 there will be an also bigger focus on machine studying and SEO from data. ” Of course, the amplification aspect of things will continue in order to combine increasingly with genuine public relationships exercises rather than shallow-relationship hyperlink building, which will become significantly easy to detect by lookup engines like google. Seo (SEO) is often regarding making small modifications to components of your website. In my SEO content writing guidelines I suggest a person take your main keyword plus 3 or 4 other associated keywords and write at 3-4%. Some SEO specialists claim that will building links for SEO functions is pointless; others believe typically the role of backlinks to get a site has continually risen through typically the years. Search engine optimization (SEO) is a huge part associated with any marketing strategy. This brand-new paradigm of users relying upon voice search for many associated with their search needs will become a game changer for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION.

Search engine optimization (SEO) is one of the particular most important marketing things to consider in your studio website. SEO might generate a sufficient return upon investment However, search engines are usually not purchased organic search visitors, their algorithms change, and generally there are no guarantees of continuing referrals. A great starting point whenever using keywords for SEO is definitely to identify existing pages that will may use some optimization. These are called keywords, plus as you will see, they will are an important part associated with SEO. In fact, this particular will actually hurt your cyberspace SEO because search engines such as google will recognize it since keyword stuffing - or the particular act of including keywords particularly to rank for that key word, rather than to answer the person's question. Prior to we begin, one thing a person want to keep in brain when using some of the following SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION elements is not to overdo it. You might be enticed to shove a lot associated with keywords onto your pages, yet that is not the objective. In situation you create links to various other websites and reverse, it will certainly improve your SEO ranking. In fact Cisco predicts that globally, on the internet video traffic will be eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic by 2019 (a quantity that is up from sixty four percent in 2014). I've bookmarked therefore many SEO websites and assets that it's overwhelming to actually look at. Link authority is the major component of SEO, yet purchasing links is forbidden simply by Google, Bing, and other research engines.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #84

Wed March 14 2018 [20:54:25] <Wackd> OH NO! Doctor Doom's summoned a marching band, the fiend!

[20:55:40] <Wackd> Oh hey, max, you were talking about the Howling Commandos? [20:56:02] <Wackd> Guess who the Three and Crystal have encountered while flying back from Inhuman territory? [20:56:20] <maxwellelvis> Is it Dum-Dum? I hope it's Dum-Dum [20:56:23] <Wackd> ...i just realized [20:56:31] <Wackd> the howling commandos are the original g.i. joes [20:56:35] <Wackd> prove me wrong [20:57:07] <maxwellelvis> If we could retcon Joe Colton as a Howler... [20:57:13] <Wackd> Anyway yeah, it's Fury and Dum-Dum and SHIELD. [20:57:19] <Duraz> their individual gimmicks were more based in personality and stereotypes, rather than outlandish equipment or specialty? [20:57:36] <Wackd> dammit [20:57:39] <Wackd> i am proved wrong [20:58:28] <maxwellelvis> You had the hardbitten leader, the big Irish lad, the Italian movie star, the black jazz musician, the Jewish guy, the Southerner, and the Ivy Leaguer. [20:58:28] <MousaThe14_> Oh I hate that feeling [20:58:36] <maxwellelvis> Who was later replaced by a British guy. [20:58:57] <Duraz> the British guy wasn't an original member? [20:59:01] <maxwellelvis> Nope. [20:59:05] <maxwellelvis> He replaced the Ivy-Leaguer [20:59:10] <Wackd> So! Meanwhile, some old guy is trying to escape from the clutches of... [20:59:13] <Wackd> Well, guess. [20:59:17] <Wackd> Hint: he's on the cover. [20:59:21] <maxwellelvis> DOOM! [21:00:01] <maxwellelvis> There were actually TWO British guys on the Howling Commandoes. [21:00:21] <Inbarfink2> Good night [21:00:27] <maxwellelvis> "Pinky" Pinkerton, and James Falworth, AKA Union Jack [21:00:29] <maxwellelvis> Night [21:00:38] <Wackd> "i will SEND a fully-armed battaLION to reMIND you of my love, da da-da da da, da da-da da DIE da-da"

[21:04:20] <Duraz> those minions remind me of Sentinels [21:04:28] <Wackd> So, Doom sends the poor sap to be reeducated, bemoaning the whole time that he gives his subjects food and shelter and how do they repay him, yadda yadda. [21:05:10] <maxwellelvis> They made me think of Sentinels in the 1994 cartoon [21:05:39] <maxwellelvis> It's easy to forget that Doombots are not the only robotic minions he has. [21:05:46] <Wackd> Meanwhile, we catch up with the Three, Crystal, Fury, and Dugan. Fury reveals that a SHIELD agent disappeared mysteriously after reporting a hidden army, and that they've found a disembodied robot hand with a mind of his own. [21:05:56] <Wackd> A mind that's preoccupied with blasting the shit out of everyone around it. [21:07:01] <Wackd> Johnny reacts like a normal person, and Fury gets mad at him for destroying their lab specimen. [21:07:35] <Wackd> He also asks Reed to take over on this one, since SHIELD is very very busy. [21:07:42] <Wackd> And also only has two guys in it, I guess. [21:07:50] <Wackd> Four is more than two, so. [21:08:14] <Wackd> Reed objects, because he's got a newborn baby he wants to get back to (why the fuck didn't he also get someone to take over for him, ah, whatever), but is quickly persuaded. [21:10:39] <Wackd> And so, the Three and Crystal are dropped into "communist occupied central Europe"! [21:11:04] <MousaThe14_> Specific! [21:11:05] <Wackd> "You--you really shouldn't need to be told this!"

[21:11:21] <maxwellelvis> I actually feel like objecting to your labeling of the Four at this time. [21:11:31] <MousaThe14_> As opposed to the rifle gun posts which are free for all visitors to enjoy [21:11:31] <maxwellelvis> It feels like you don't see Crystal as a "proper" member [21:11:42] <Wackd> It's nothing against Crystal. [21:11:47] <Wackd> I just object to the sidelining of Sue. [21:11:48] <MousaThe14_> the pistol posts are onnly available to civillians on tuesdays [21:11:57] <Wackd> And I want to make a point of her absence. [21:12:01] <MousaThe14_> the AK-47 poses are accessible every other day [21:12:07] <Wackd> Like, if Sue was still here, I'd call them the Five. It doesn't bother me. [21:12:15] <maxwellelvis> Well it's not coming across that way. [21:12:23] <maxwellelvis> In fact, it's coming off as really disrespectful. [21:12:24] <Wackd> And I'll be doing the same thing if/when Reed, Johnny, or Ben leave the team. [21:13:08] <maxwellelvis> Because it implies that you don't see Crystal, Medusa, She-Hulk, She-Thing, etc, as "real" Fantastic Four members. [21:13:21] <Duraz> there's a She-Thing? [21:13:25] <maxwellelvis> Yeah. [21:13:28] <Wackd> I do, I just see Sue as MORE real, I guess? [21:13:43] <maxwellelvis> That doesn't make much sense, Wackd [21:14:00] <maxwellelvis> Also are you noticing the common element in them all? [21:14:10] <MousaThe14_> Oh there was most certainly a She-Thing. I was surprised too,  Ithink I only learned that maybe 2 years ago, maybe three [21:14:15] <Wackd> Okay, hang the fuck on. [21:14:22] <maxwellelvis> I'm just saying [21:14:24] <Wackd> But are ALL OF THEM replacing Sue, though? [21:14:31] <maxwellelvis> Medusa does. [21:14:59] <Duraz> I'll have to look that up [21:14:59] <Wackd> I just. [21:15:36] <Wackd> Look, if I just keep calling them the Four, it--to me--implies Sue's continued presence as a part of the narrative. [21:15:45] <Wackd> And she's really not at this point. [21:15:49] <maxwellelvis> Duraz: I can explain She-Thing. [21:15:58] <maxwellelvis> But Crystal is the fourth right now. [21:16:18] <Wackd> Yes, she is! And she's--you know what? [21:16:23] <Wackd> I'm gonna take a different tact on this. [21:16:38] <Wackd> max, what hypothetical reader are you imagining that won't know that I think Crystal is great? [21:17:00] <Wackd> Like, me implying that is only a problem if someone thinks I'm implying that, and no one does. [21:17:08] <maxwellelvis> I wouldn't. But even so, calling them "The Three and Crystal" just puts her as "and the rest", kinda, subconsciously. [21:17:37] <MousaThe14_> I mean it's weird but I didn't think much of it other than a weird hang up [21:17:44] <Wackd> I mean, also, be fair to me here, it's not like she STAYS a member of the team. [21:18:02] <MousaThe14_> I would just say "the four" to be brief because as of now they are the four [21:18:04] <Wackd> The immortal status quo that will rear its head in the face of all comers is that Fantastic Four = Reed, Sue, Johnny, Ben. [21:18:20] <maxwellelvis> So? [21:18:37] <Wackd> So yeah, uh. She's kinda not a real member of the team. [21:18:41] <maxwellelvis> Does that make characters like Crystal, Medusa, et al "less Fantastic" because they're not founding members? [21:18:50] <Wackd> That's not MY fault, though. Take it up with the writers and editors. [21:19:05] <maxwellelvis> You're the one relegating her to "And the rest" [21:19:49] <Wackd> It's not me! It's the inexorable march of time! [21:21:23] <maxwellelvis> So? [21:21:25] <Wackd> Alright, I'll compromise: How's "the Four minus Sue" instead? [21:21:37] <maxwellelvis> Still seems to discount Crystal. [21:21:41] <maxwellelvis> Just call them the Four [21:22:00] <Wackd> max, I'm sorry buddy, I'm not gonna do that. [21:22:05] <Wackd> The Five minus Sue? [21:22:31] <maxwellelvis> Sue's not on the team right now. [21:22:58] <Wackd> Yes, and that's for reasons that are bad and dumb and I'm not not going to validate them so that you feel like a fictional character is given respect. [21:23:45] <maxwellelvis> What are those reasons other than "Crystal joining the team isn't permanent and she's taking Sue's place"? [21:25:10] <Wackd> The writing is saddling Sue with being the sole caretaker of her newborn child while Reed continues to superhero. And despite being a main character, Sue's motherhood is unworthy of more than three pages every three issues. [21:25:56] <maxwellelvis> So to point this out, you're going to imply that Sue is only filling space? [21:26:00] <maxwellelvis> Crystal [21:26:23] <Wackd> And don't claim "you can't make taking care of a baby exciting" or "no one would want to read it." This comic has found a way to make love triangles, self-loathing, and economic loss work in a superhero punch-em-up context. [21:26:45] <Wackd> I offered to redo my phrasing to put the emphasis on Sue. [21:27:28] <Wackd> Despite my own feelings on this issue, I think you have some valid points, and I am trying to meet you halfway. [21:28:29] <Wackd> I believe there is a way to normalize Crystal as a member of the team without pretending that Sue being shelved is in any way justifiable. [21:31:32] <MousaThe14_> Does this truly deserve all this discussion? [21:32:00] <MousaThe14_> I mean does it truly matter? [21:32:13] <Wackd> THIS IS THE HELL I CHOOSE TO DIE ON [21:32:19] <maxwellelvis> It matters to me. Otherwise I wouldn't be arguing it. [21:32:22] <MousaThe14_> Anyone else feel like we’re overinflati- [21:32:24] <MousaThe14_> Okay [21:32:30] <Wackd> ...that's one hill of a typo [21:32:46] <Wackd> So, uh. [21:32:55] <Wackd> max, do you have ANY wiggle room on this? [21:33:03] <MousaThe14_> I mean, it’s entirely semantical [21:33:12] <MousaThe14_> It’s just a term. [21:33:15] <Wackd> Because if you don't agree to any of these I'm gonna go with Four minus Sue from here on. [21:33:28] <maxwellelvis> "The four and Sue" if she appears with them, is all the wiggle I have. [21:33:31] <maxwellelvis> *Four* [21:33:44] <MousaThe14_> I mean he said he doesn’t think the others are lesser, therefore his phrasing has no implication therein [21:33:46] <Wackd> Well that's, you know. Worse. [21:34:00] <Wackd> I'm not going to imply SUE RICHARDS is not a member of the Fantastic Four. [21:34:06] <MousaThe14_> We know the motive, we know the method [21:34:13] <maxwellelvis> She's on leave. [21:34:19] <Wackd> Yeah I'm with Mousa on this one. [21:34:40] <Wackd> I've made my motives clear. Any hangups anyone has about this are either hypothetical, or you just not believing me when I say things I guess. [21:34:55] <maxwellelvis> Maybe it's a term, but it eats away at me. [21:35:00] <maxwellelvis> It just bugs me. [21:35:01] <MousaThe14_> I feel like this is the kind of thing that people dislike comic geeks for [21:35:30] <Wackd> I don't think you hear many comic geeks arguing in good faith on how to properly respect fictional women. [21:35:37] <MousaThe14_> Like the sort of thing that gives us a bad rep because it’s curative nonsense on an infinitesimal scale [21:35:48] <Wackd> Suppose that's fair. [21:35:58] <MousaThe14_> And now I must help my mom with the piano [21:36:03] <Wackd> Welp. [21:36:14] <maxwellelvis> Especially because in a couple of decades' time the Four is going to look like this https://i.pinimg.com/474x/2c/9b/2c/2c9b2cbd2c812bbeb037484ed1143821--marvel-characters-marvel-heroes.jpg [21:36:15] <Wackd> I'm gonna drive home and I guess I'll finish this issue there. [21:36:35] <maxwellelvis> And what are you going to call them then? "The Two, plus Crystal and Sharon"? [21:36:44] <Wackd> Yes. [21:36:52] <Wackd> That is exactly what I am going to do. [21:37:05] <Wackd> Unless you prefer "the Four minus Sue and Reed." [21:38:20] <Wackd> ANYWAY uh. [21:39:26] <Wackd> It's my chatroom, it's my decision, I'm gonna go with "Five minus Sue". [21:39:48] <Wackd> Motion passes, meeting adjourned, I'm gonna head home. [21:40:03] <maxwellelvis> So what, if an X-Man isn't one of the five founders they're not a "true" X-Man? [21:40:18] <Wackd> I'm Wack'd Johnson, we're done here . [22:10:17] <MousaThe14_> Max, let it go. It’s ultimately no biggie. [22:13:03] <Wackd> Okay, so, I'm home, and I came up with a new solution. [22:14:09] <Wackd> I'm programming a new shortcut into my keyboard. Now, whenever I type F#, it autocorrects to Reed, Johnny, Ben, and Crystal. [22:14:21] <Wackd> And I'll just update the shortcut whenever the roster changes. [22:14:54] <Wackd> Even when it's the usual four. [22:16:06] <Wackd> SO! I'm gonna finish this issue even if it fucking kills me. Let's go. [22:16:52] <maxwellelvis> Wackd: ... fine. [22:17:50] <maxwellelvis> And Mousa, what may not seem like a big deal to you might not necessarily be one to others. [22:17:58] <maxwellelvis> *Be the same to others* [22:18:19] <Wackd> The plan, apparently, is for Reed, Johnny, Ben, and Crystal to get captured by Doctor Doom, and use their access to his castle to find out whether he's behind the robots SHIELD was investigating. [22:19:13] <Wackd> You can hear Loki, Khanberbatch, that guy from Skyfall, and about a hundred others desperately scribbling down notes as they read. [22:19:18] <maxwellelvis> The old "Get our asses kicked so we can find out what he's up to" plan, eh? [22:19:36] <Wackd> I just don't know what they'll do if Doom doesn't have a square glass case to put them in [22:20:53] <Wackd> The guy at the boarder patrol of this communist occupied central European nation is all like "are...you guys sure?" when they try to pass into Latveria. [22:21:37] <Wackd> Reed's like "yeah, we are" and the guard is like "you poor saps." [22:22:05] <Wackd> And so, they drive into Latveria. [22:22:18] <Wackd> And then their car explodes because the road is magnetized. [22:22:27] <Wackd> I feel like that should have the OPPOSITE effect but okay. [22:22:29] <maxwellelvis> When the Communists are scared of this guy, you know you're in trouble. [22:22:32] <MousaThe14_> Freaking magnets [22:22:36] <MousaThe14_> How do they work [22:22:37] <maxwellelvis> Well, I can see how that would - HUH? [22:23:02] <maxwellelvis> (That's a phrase I will gladly steal from the ACEG over and over again) [22:23:27] <Wackd> So, uh, given how much all these folks care about each other, you can guess how well "operation get our asses kicked" goes. [22:23:52] <Wackd> Crystal gets napped, Johnny gets angry, Johnny gets attacked, Reed gets angry, Reed gets attacked, Ben gets angry. [22:23:59] <MousaThe14_> Johnny goes ablaze as soon as- [22:24:01] <Wackd> Fight fight fight. [22:24:02] <MousaThe14_> Called it [22:24:43] <MousaThe14_> God, it’s the world’s most predictable set of dominoes [22:24:46] <Wackd> Also, Doom has the most brilliant plan ever to capture Ben. [22:25:07] <MousaThe14_> He her [22:25:15] <MousaThe14_>  He threw a rock at him [22:25:20] <MousaThe14_> No wait [22:25:28] <Wackd> He shoots a missile in Ben's general direction, and rigs it to pour out sleeping gas when Ben inevitably punches a hole in it. [22:25:33] <MousaThe14_> He threw him, a rock [22:25:48] <MousaThe14_> That’s... [22:25:52] <MousaThe14_> That... [22:25:54] <Wackd> "Punchin' things! My one weakness!" [22:25:54] <MousaThe14_> Okay [22:26:02] <MousaThe14_> I mean, he’s not wrong [22:26:26] <Wackd> I don't think I've ever before seen anyone WEAPONIZE Ben's inability to pass up a chance to punch a thing. [22:26:41] <Wackd> I'm not even being sarcastic. That's brilliant. [22:28:48] <Wackd> Okay, did Stan pick up a book on hypnotism lately? [22:29:28] <Wackd> While Reed, Johnny, Ben, and Crystal were knocked out, Doom hypnotized them to not use their powers anymore. [22:29:42] <Wackd> He's also put the men up in a cushy hotel. [22:31:15] <Wackd> Hey, so, you know how in modern comics, people who live in Latveria are like "our lives are good, and everyone's healthy and happy, and therefore our fascist dictator is a swell guy"? Maaaaybe we shouldn't take that at face value.

[22:31:43] <maxwellelvis> "Modern"? [22:32:07] <Wackd> (I mean, we shouldn't take that at face value period, but from an in-universe perspective, Doom canonically threatens everyone into being happy, so) [22:32:09] <maxwellelvis> I have Kooky Quartet-era Avengers comics where throngs of peasants flock to Doom in praise. [22:32:42] <maxwellelvis> I think it's the same one where it's revealed he's used his scientific knowledge to restore a boy's ability to walk. [22:32:57] <maxwellelvis> Unless that's in like an X-Men comic I may have read and forgotten about. [22:33:32] <Wackd> I feel like the tenor of it is different in modern comics? Writers now like to have Latverians make a big deal out of how Doom is beneficial on a societal level, whereas older comics are more likely to have the peasants just revere Doom as a god. [22:34:20] <Wackd> But yes, I'll concede that "Doom's people like him" isn't a terribly new reading. [22:35:36] <Wackd> So! Doom has had his people throw a "Fantastic Four Fiesta Day" for their new guests. [22:36:03] <Wackd> (I dig Crystal's description of the general atmosphere: "Everyone looks so joyful, but they jump at every sound.") [22:36:44] <maxwellelvis> Okay, even under subliminal mind control, this should be setting off every alarm bell in Reed's head [22:36:54] <maxwellelvis> When was the last time Doom EVER said something nice about him? [22:36:55] <Wackd> It is, actually. [22:37:25] <Wackd> Doom only hypnotized them to not use their powers, nothing more. They're otherwise cognizant of the situation. [22:37:47] <maxwellelvis> Ah [22:38:03] <Wackd> Ben is actually kinda buying it, while Johnny and Crystal don't know how to handle the situation if it is a trap. [22:38:30] <Wackd> Reed's decided he's going to "prove to you how free everyone REALLY is", and by "you" he means Ben, I guess? [22:39:27] <Wackd> Anyway, to do this, he makes a run for the border, where he is hit by a stun blast, and warned by Doom's face on a computer screen: "remain here and be eternally happy, or else you die."

[monoshah]

Love: Everything I learned in a year

A year ago, I set myself on an inquiry of love. I wanted to see if love really is all that its hyped up to be. Being someone whose not had much skill in managing relationships, I though it was high time I actually study this thing we all seemingly long for.

At first, the idea of people not doing such an inquiry struck me. I mean think about it- we’re all, for better or for worse, advocates of love. At each stage of our lives, love has an important part to play, and yet- we fail to put in the work to study it. We just “let it happen”, as if its this magical thing that the universe just gives us.

But what if we looked closely? What if we stopped assuming that a tiny baby with wings and an arrow controlled our destinies?

So, for the past year, I made it a point to put it under a microscope and see it for what it is, not what the media portrays it to be. Every other month, I read a book about it, sometimes, I didn’t find any insight, while other times, I found lessons hidden inside long paragraphs of sophisticated language.In addition to that, I started reflecting more on my skills pertaining to relationships, trying to discover patterns. 

Either way, there are somethings I learned. Regardless of what your relationship status is, I hope this soothes you.

P.S: You may notice that I’ve used my own example from past relationships to convey certain points. The idea here isn’t to make you feel bad for me (you can if you want to though). Instead, it’s to encourage you to try and apply it to your own life. 

 Lessons

Context: Crushes Lesson: Crushes are delusional 

If we really examine our crushes under a microscope, we’d realize how irrational our assumptions about them are. Think about it- one look at someone, and somehow, we know exactly what kind of person they are, the vulnerabilities they share. What’s worse, the seemingly trivial things they do or possess makes us even more attracted to them: the way they comb their hair, that little mark under their right chin. We use these little things to paint a picture of who they are as individuals.

So, if we try to eliminate the romanticized filter, they, just like anyone else, would seem so normal. All of our assumptions drop as we see reality.

After I read about this, I thought about applying it in my life. So, every time I felt attracted to someone, I journaled about it. I asked myself the seemingly tough question- why? As in- why am I attracted to this individual?

Strangely enough, I could never answer it. I could never think about rational reasons for my crush. Here’s a snapshot of a paragraph from my journal after I started crushing on someone at work and thought about getting some perspective about it by journaling.

“Okay, I think it started when she slacked you- there you are, missed you. You looked up and there she was, smiling, as she steadily used her right forefinger to place some strands of her air behind her ear. It looked so theatrical, as if she’d been practicing the same move for weeks, just for you. And yet, it was so normal. So, Monil, think about it- that one move made you picture how happily the two of you would be in the future. A seemingly trivial move, and there you were- so sure that she was the one”

So, should we completely disregard our crushes? Of course not, regardless of how irrational, they’re fucking amazing. Then, instead of blindly believing in them, maybe this knowledge will make us question it. So, in the future, we make wiser choices.

Context: Romanticism Lesson: After a point, romanticism has the power to ruin love.

We’ve all been there- that sweet honeymoon phase where everything is just so amazing. Whatever our partners do, it somehow makes us feel good. The way they talk on the phone, those cute fights when they don’t hang up and ask you to (don’t deny it, you know you’ve been there).

Now, that’s great isn’t it? It makes us believe that this is it, we’ve done it. This is love and oh my god, its so beautiful. She/he has to be the one, there’s no doubt to it.

However, what happens when the things we realize during that phase are tested against time? That is- we try to evaluate our relationships based on the honeymoon phase? We’re bound to find loopholes. Those cute love songs no longer do it for us, and it seems like, like we’re going farther and farther away from our sweet ideal phase, something has to be wrong right?

Wrong.

I learned that the major issue new couples face during love comes from the sweet poison that is romanticism. Unfortunately, there is little we can do to escape it, the society wraps it up and presents it to us in the form of media. So, of course we’ll believe that we’re the next Romeo and Juliet, how could we not be?

The major problem with romanticism is rooted in how it changes our perception of love. It makes us strongly believe that if we’re with the right partner, we will feel right. Forget reason, its all about feelings. And, the only way for us to feel better is to follow an invisible script (so to speak), a template, both of which are made by the society, updated with the modern culture.

This very template tells us what is “normal” in love, or worse- how a relationship should unfold, in and out of bed. So, one might righteously assume that this template has been written “by the Gods”, or in other words- “its always been like this”.  Interestingly enough, romanticism has its history.

The ideology emerged in Europe around mid eighteenth century through the minds and hearts of poets, philosophers, and writers.  And since then, it has taken over modern society. I can literally go on and on about exactly how it ruined love, but I’ll let the masters do that for you. 

Context: How we choose our partners Lesson: There is a reason for our “type”

Each of us has a type, whether we admit to it or not, we often find ourselves dating similar types of people. Now, instead of labeling these types as “assholes” or “nice guys”, what if we questioned why we have the types we do?

Why, for example, do I only date people who are hard to please emotionally? What’s worse, I started noticing that I actually enjoy the toxicity of our relationship. In a very real sense, I like my love to be unrequited. I mean, who doesn’t want to walk around with heartbreak songs blasting through the headphones in the street and feeling like they’re the only ones?!

Despite the momentary pride, that’s madness.

And, when (as they say) the “stars do align”, and my partner starts feeling the same, I feel like all the excitement is lost. In a way, I don’t really want you to love me, but I will keep loving you, to a point where you will feel suffocated. 

To put this habit into perspective, here’s Alain De Boton in his book Essays in Love: 

“We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?” 

Such insanity begs to be inquired.

If I may put it bluntly- I learned that we seek familiarity, not love. That is, we try to replicate the kind of love we were used to in our childhood, to adult life. Therefore, the reason why I choose such partners is because they replicate the love I received when I was a little kid. Similarly, I don’t want anyone to love me because I genuinely feel I don’t deserve it.

(Note- If you feel like blaming your parents, check out this and this post).

The solution, then, so to speak, is internal healing. I can’t and shouldn’t expect another individual to heal me, for me. That’s my responsibility. Only when I heal from the inside, can I love more authentically on the outside.

Context:  The way we choose our partners Lesson: Modern Metrics for attraction are trivial

Although Romanticism ruined love, to some extent, it did make falling in love easy. It taught us that importance of physical attraction in the realm of love. And, given the obedient students that we are of the society, we followed it blindly. Then, entered technology and now, not only do we confidently fall for someone by the way they look, but we do it in front of our screens. Its as easy as swiping right.

So, it always amazed me- as much as physical attraction is important, what are some other, more realistic metrics we can use to choose our partners wisely? And interestingly enough, I found that these very metrics, in a way, can help us go beyond our feelings and tap into a more trustworthy resource- reason.

I’m sure you must’ve heard the phrase- when in doubt, go old school.

So, I did.

I wondered- what was love like before romanticism? And came across a wonderful play written by Plato, called Symposium.

A symposium, in greek, is a drinking party. The plot is simple- a couple of philosophers attend a drinking party and each one of them ends up giving a speech about what they consider love to be. Think about it- a bunch of people whose profession was literally to just sit and think, come together, in the presence of a lot of alcohol, and try to solve the mystery of love.

Naturally, I picked up some great insights. Amongst all the speeches, Diotima (a fictional character made by Socrates) seemed to have given the most serious one (picked up from GradeSaver):

“First, Love leads a person to love one body and beget beautiful ideas. From these ideas, this person realizes that the beauty of one body is found in all bodies and if he is seeking beauty in form, he must see beauty in all bodies and become lover to all beautiful bodies. After that, the person moves on to thinking the beauty of souls is greater than the beauty of bodies. Here, Diotima specifically refers to giving birth through the soul to make young men better. This results in the lover seeing love in activities and eyes, over the beauty of bodies. Ella also refers to these as beautiful customs, from which the lover loves beautiful things, or other kinds of knowledge. The lover will lastly fall on giving birth to many beautiful ideas and theories, finding love of wisdom. This love never passes away and is always beautiful. The end lesson is learning of this very Beauty (wisdom), coming to know what is beautiful. Only at this point will a lover be able to give birth to true virtue. This person will be loved by the gods and is one of the few who could become immortal. The “Rites of Love,” otherwise referred to as the “Ladder of Love,” is the ultimate conclusion in Diotima’s speech. The last rung of the ladder makes one a “lover of wisdom,” or a philosopher, which in one respect is not surprising, since Plato is a philosopher. Philosophy is love’s highest expression, which allows a person to see Beauty.”

So, one way to contemplate this to reality is to use “the love of wisdom” as a spearhead in our relationships. No longer will beauty mean something superficial and time bounded. More importantly- no longer will we stay in love through instinct. Maybe this will help us think about tapping into another useful resource- reason. 

Context: The “right” person Lesson: Why we will all end up marrying the wrong person

There is a lot of emphasis on finding the “right” partner, someone who can magically understand our mood, who can tell us why we’re upset even if we ourselves can’t quite grasp the reason. So naturally, if our current relationship starts becoming boring, we confidently believe that its the partner. That, they’re not “right” for us.

A natural second though, then, is to believe that there is someone out there for us. We don’t want to even think about (let alone acknowledge) the seemingly anxious thought that maybe, just maybe- there is no one out there for us, that, the dots that make up love are joined by co-incidence and not design. That maybe the universe doesn’t really give a fuck about us (or anyone else for that matter). 

And, because we fail to acknowledge such a thought, our search for the right partner never ends. Strangely enough, most of us don’t even know why we may consider someone as the “right” person, our only metric being- “she/he should understand me one hundred percent, cure my loneliness, answer the scary question of what my purpose is on this planet, and of course- be amazing in bed.”

I learned that as much as we want it to be true, there is no right person for anyone. That the cupid is too young and immature to direct us to our right partner. Practically,  the biggest reason for this stems from the obviously tough (and yet seemingly simple) fact that we cannot fully understand ourselves, let alone make sense of another human being for a lifetime.

Here’s Alain De Boton in his popular NY Times Article “Why you will marry the wrong person”: Marriage ends up as a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating.

This, as mentioned before, is rooted from the fact that love, ever since romanticism was born, is guided by instinct.

You can read the entire article here, or better- buy the book he wrote about it.

So, in hindsight, if there is no right person for us, what’s the silver lining? The abundance of opportunity. Think about it- if there is no right person for us, that also means that there is no wrong person for us. This makes us acknowledge a soothing reality- that whoever we’re with or will be with, will disappoint us and make us happy at the same time. Our metric, then, isn’t a 4.0. 

Instead, In Alain’s words, it’s-

The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist), but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently — the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the “not overly wrong” person. Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition.

Context: Attachement Styles Lesson: Why we are, the way we are to our partners

If I started drawing insights from every relationship I’ve had to date, one thing in particular would stand out- the painful memory of being overly attached to my partner. At first, looking at it naively, it just confirmed a rather boastful belief that I had about myself- that I’m just a hopeless romantic.

And, despite the seemingly great status that title carried in itself, being a hopeless romantic is painful. It requires total and utter submission, to give yourself up and trust your significant other. Forget healthy boundaries and say goodbye to your self esteem.

So, just like everything else, I put this under a microscope. I asked myself- why? Why do I do this every time? In a very real sense, I wanted to see if being a “hopeless romantic” was worth it.

Fortunately, I found my answers in a book called Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller.  It deduced three typical attachment styles in every adult relationship:Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure.

An anxious attachment style encompasses a painful hobby of being preoccupied with one’s relationship and feeling worried about our partners ability to love us back. There- I hit the jackpot.

Avoidant’s are the exact opposite. For them, intimacy equates to a loss of interdependency and so they try to minimize closeness as much as possible.

As you might’ve guessed, an anxious-avoidant pair serves as the perfect toxic playground. While one person tries to pull, the other one is pushing. Thus, tension is always present.

A secured relationship style is the goal, where, people are comfortable with intimacy and are warm and loving.

More than simply making sense out of my misery, this book also served as a guide, helping me think about what I can do in my future relationships for not feeling so painful. In that context, I learned that instead of changing my attachment style, I have to use it as a roadmap to select partners. That is- I have to think twice before being involved with someone with a avoidant attachment style, and this is the hardest part. Why? Because of the push-pull habit I described above. Anxious and avoidance complement each other. Additionally, the reason why I’ve never attracted someone with a secured attachment style is because to me, there’s no excitement present in that relationship. Secured people communicate their wants and needs clearly. They don’t send mixed signals and I find that boring, given that I’ve learned to work really hard for love.

To put this lesson bluntly- I have to stop equating my anxious attachment style to passion and love. Its not.

Second, I have to stop labelling my “neediness” as good or bad. And, further, acknowledge that I too deserve compatibility and love.

Apply this to yourself: what’s your attachment style? How has that impacted your past or present relationships? 

Context: “How did you two meet?” Lesson: Coincidence has a big hand to play in our love stories

There is a sense of pride that we feel as couples, when someone asks us the typical question- how did you two meet?

Most often than not, our answer revolves around the magical statement- it was just so meant to be. And yet, if we really think about it, that hardly seems to be the case.

Let's say you met your partner at a party. You ordered a Diet Coke with lime and you noticed the bartender take out two glasses. She gave one to you and as you looked up, the other glass was given to someone else. Your eyes met with his, he raised his glass and so did you, and then the two of you got talking. He shared his aspirations of being an architect, while you tried not to blabber too much about how much you love graphic designing.

The mutuality of both of you using the right side of your brains as a profession made you wonder- wow, this is so meant to be.

Then, he shared his embarrassment of ordering a Diet Coke with lime and you reassured him that his drink choice didn’t make him not cool or not young enough. That act of reassurance made you fantasize about how perfect this relationship would be.

In a way, you started following a script, a script, that, although written and edited by the media and culture, made you think it was written by cupid- just for you. All the while, forgetting that at any moment, you had the chance to tear that script, change the ink of the pen you were writing it, or close the book altogether.

Alright, let’s back up a bit.

What if you decided not to attend the party? What if you chose staying in and reading a good book? What if you decided to get another drink? The point is- there are so many possibilities, so many scenarios that could’ve played out.

I learned that we fall in love by coincidence, not design. There is no one up there writing our love stories, for better or for worse, we have the ability to do it ourselves. Maybe this makes you a tad upset, but give it a minute and think about it- because there is no predetermined “right place” or “right time”, there is also no wrong place or wrong time.

Choice has always been with us, and it always will be. So, the next time people ask your partner and you that question about how the two of you met- really think about it, how did the two of you meet? And then question the typical norm of crediting cupid.

Context: How Love Stories Typically End Lesson: The other side of happily ever after

If we take notes about what every love story typically consists of, we can find ourselves jotting down the following:

- Every love story has a nemesis that has to be defeated - Most of the time, both individuals are never on the same page - When they are- they meet and the story ends

And we fucking love it. Don’t get me wrong, despite studying this for a year now, every time I pick up a typical romance book, I can’t let go of it. Romance novels emphasize romanticism, they make us believe that maybe, just maybe, our horribleness is worthy of love too.

That of course there’s a special determined someone for us, who will step in and just cure our misery, who will let make living just a tad bit better. 

That said, here’s the problem I have with them- the ending.

More often than not, love stories end at a point where real life starts. In actuality, “happily ever after” encompasses marriage, kids, death, and what not. Isn’t that where we really need some guidance? I mean, modern culture has taught us romanticism well, we’re all brilliantly aware of how to handle the honeymoon phase, the things to say to our crushes, the songs to listen to; unfortunately, we’re pretty blindfolded in the next stage- that is, living a life with them.

We don’t know what to do when suddenly our partner starts disagreeing with us, when they can’t quite get along with your friends, when they leave the bathroom lights on; wouldn’t we all want to see what would’ve happened if Romeo and Juliet got an apartment in Brooklyn and started living a life together?

Of course we would, it’s an area we’re not at all educated about.

Now, most definitely, its not a perfect science. If there’s one thing we know about relationships, its that we can’t really master them. Its a tight rope between two cliffs, we’re all just.. trying our best not to fall. That said, just because we can’t master them doesn’t mean we can’t explore the other side, look at it, be curios about it, and if we’re lucky- learn something from it.

Fortunately, I found the perfect book that explores this concept, The Course Of Love by Alain De Boton. The best part about this book isn’t how the two individuals meet, instead, it’s what happens after they meet and fall in love- marriage, kids, death, and what not. The book explores fascinating questions like- why, after being so sure that our partner is the right one, do we start realizing that maybe we’ve made a mistake? How and why do couples loose the “spark”?

All I’d say is- get the book, read it, and treat it like your bible for relationships.

If you do, I’d suggest reading Essays in Love first, it was his first book. Although it doesn’t cover marriage, the text still explores the first few phases of love- crushes, breakups, affairs, etc. 

Ending Thoughts

Our modern definition of love acknowledges the reality that love stories don’t end with the two individuals meet. They go on, in fact, it’s essential for them to go on, given life,

So, how can we use this insight?

We can let it change our perspective of love and relationships. We can, in a very real sense, let it change the typical attitude we have towards it- a sense of wonder, something that the cupid/God controls. Instead, we can finally consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe, love is more deliberate, more logical, and thus- a skill that can be learned.

What this means is, the next time we crush on someone, we don’t let it fully consume us, we acknowledge that yes- they’re lovely, of course they’re perfect for us, but at the same time, there’s a side of them we haven’t seen yet. Not because they’re hiding it, but because we’re blindfolded by love. 

The point isn’t to point out faults in love, it’s to let a little bit of cynicism help us stay aware of what’s happening.

When I started on this endeavor, a quote by Victor Frankyl amazed me. In his book Man’s Search For Meaning, he said- “The salvation of man is through love and in love”, and after everything I’ve learned, I think he’s right. 

The problem with quotes and phrases about love is that they’re very vague. Which is why they need to be delayered. These sayings make us believe that the right approach to love has to be taken from the surface, however, we need to delayer it. We need to get rid of the really attractive bottle cap and pour out the contents of the bottle. Then, be curious about it and hopefully- learn something from it. 

Real love in essence is transparency. Not only is it in acknowledging the scars both partners share but also how those scars affect how they are and what they do in relationships. That is where, I reckon, the whole salvation thing comes in; when we’re not only accepted for who we are but also loved for it.

I hope this post made you (at the least) think about the possibility that love isn’t random, it doesn’t happen when the stars align. Instead, it’s something that can be logical, something that can be guided by reason. That doesn’t necessarily make love unsexy or unromantic, it actually makes it sustainable, so you can grow in and with it.